I have felt some distance from Abby since last week, understandably I know - when the contractions started and the birth became ever more imminent. It's been a bittersweet sort of thing because I don't think it's been awful. It's like both of us have been kinda looking for our place with each other again. But also knowing that it wasn't going to happen overnight. That's putting a lot of credit to Abby but that's the vibe I get because she's not overly anxious to be with me or not be with me. We just sort of cuddle when we get one of those moments - those moments where it's just us again for a minute. But I think we could both just tell that we weren't quite ourselves. That this little bundle of boy and my general pain was simply going to be a boundary for us for a time.
Wednesday was the long awaited Disneyland trip and everything worked out well, but especially - I'm not sure when or how it happened but it felt like Abby and I found our groove. It'll take time but that's all right.
Similarly, though I've had a great time staring at, cuddling with, smootching on the face Jack, he didn't totally feel mine until we were out. There is something about being out as a family that reinforces the idea that we are a family; That we are a unit that belong together - fit together.
So, yesterday I felt like I was coming to a better understanding of Jack as well.
It's progress I'll take happily
2 comments:
Aw, sweet. Good to know that you are finding your groove with both of your sweeties. This is such a huge adjustment! I'm sure you will handle it with much grace and love. =)
you guys are soo sweet... all together... I remember a friend of mine saying, after her third... that she was sad... cause she missed being with her older boys... and they just wanted to be with the baby... glad everyone is feeling well loved...
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