Tuesday, January 30, 2007

My favorite time to Clean...

Is right after Gladys and her glorious crew clean my house. Everything that doesn't have a place is neatly stacked somewhere so that I can take it and find a place for it. It is clear therefore to me what needs a new place and where things have been hiding. I just fiddle and feel like a million dollars because not only is it organized but it's clean (or not only is it clean, it's organized). Glorious.

Off to rearrange the linen closet... just for the heck of it (except the top which has a spider living up there).

Monday, January 29, 2007

Abby: Criminal Mastermind in the Making

Rather than cuddle up with a teddybear tonight Abby wanted to cuddle with the new ball I got her from PartyWorld.
(after a minute snuggling with it)
A: I really just want to throw it
me: (pause as I try not to laugh) If you throw it I take it away
A: I really just want to turn it so I can see all the colors
me: That's playing with it. If you turn it I take it away.
A: I just want to turn it.
me: No playing with the ball, Abby or I take it away.
A: But its not playing. It's not a trick, its a 'tend trick
me: A what trick?
A: Its just pretend, its okay.
me: No it's not.
A: Yes it is! It's just pretend.
me: I know it's - I mean it's not ok. It's not time for playing.
A: It's time for pretend
me: No.
A: Yes.
me: Abby.
A: (pause) Why'd you say Abby?
me: Because you weren't listening to me.
A: Ok, thats important momma, looks like we'll have to go.
me: Huh?
A: I understand. It looks like we have to go.
me: Okay... (humoring her)
A: Did you say okay?
me: (realizing she trapped me) No!

Nobody was going to play with me...

That's what Abby said when we left school today after I asked her if she played with anyone.

She didn't seem upset or sad about it, mind you and I'm quite sure she is having a great time running from activity to activity. I should clarify that the reason it's important to know if she's playing with other kids is that it's a developmental thing - however, when she says things like that - it's just my own insecurities and fears amplified because I love her so much.

But hey, there's a lot to say for loner-hood (not that I believe this is Abby's fate)... I turned out great.

*Sigh* conversation I just had with Abby:
Me: Who did you play with today at school?
Abby: I don't know.
Me: Did you cook today?
Abby: Henry didn't want to cook with me today.
Me: Well that's okay, but did that make you sad?
Abby: No.
*I kissed her*
Abby: Mommy, you're being so silly.

I know... I know...

Inno-CENTS costs...

135 dollars is what it cost to get the coins Abby stuck in the steering wheel of my car out without deploying the airbag. I could have lived with the jingle jangle every time I turned the wheel but the random and incessant horn-honking the change caused was not so doable. Steve did disconnect the fuse for the horn, but besides being illegal, I'm not sure we *had* to get the coins out. I didn't even think to ask. We just didn't want them to trigger the airbag somehow the way they were triggering the horn.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

More photo testing


Well... I get the camera to focus on the right thing about fifty perfect of the time now. The 'portrait' setting was a great help because now, of the half that aren't focused sharply, a half of those are close enough to fix in photoshop.

Thinking more and more of going with the same camera David, Tim and Bryan have. The biggest issue I have with that is the lenses are a) expensive and b) I'd have to switch lenses depending on what I was trying to do. For some reason that sounds intimidating to me. But the largest advantage is that between the three of them, they already have several cool lenses that they would be willing to share.

Snack Paranoia

I'm not afraid of public speaking or doing impromptu teaching for Abby's class. I am pretty good at dealing with new people, new places, new situations (though I do tend to lose sleep). But what seriously just paralyzes me is someone asking me to bring the snack for a class, school, or meeting.

I have no idea why.

Well, I have some idea why. I am, myself, such an odd eater that I:
a) don't have a long list of things that pop into mind when you say 'snack'
b) don't know if what I choose makes sense together

I'll do anything else... just don't make me bring snack.

Friday, January 26, 2007

The Kamakazi Sofa Pillow Drop


"Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls..."











Do not try this at home...












Free fall...












Face plant...







A gal can only do this fifty or sixty times before it loses it's appeal...

Testing Shannon's Theories




Shannon helped me make some sense out of my mom's camera - awesome! Anyway - I love this picture... but in color or b&w? Too difficult a choice...



Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Round and round I go

I have a tendency to try so hard to be clear, that I end up completely confusing.

For example. I wanted to buy a BLUE dress for Abby from babyGAP but wanted to avoid shipping costs. It was not available at the Mall, but I wanted to call the one in Old Town before going down there. The number didn't show up on the internet so I called the Mall one to get the Old Town number.

Here is how the question SHOULD have been phrased:

"Hi, will you give me the number to your Old Town store?"

instead I said:

"Hi, I was in your store a few days ago looking for a blue dress that was on the internet but you didn't have it, but a saleslady suggested the Old Town store, but I can't find their number on the internet. Can you give me the Old Town number?"

Even as I hung up the phone, I shook my head and laughed at myself. Too much information, waste of everyone's time. I even think I thought to myself, I'd do better. Pshaw.

This is how the conversation should have gone with the Old Town store:

"Hi, can you check if you carry a baby blue dress with eyelet embroidery in stock?"

instead... I said:

"Hi, I am looking for a dress I found on the internet and it wasn't at Santa Anita - so I'm wondering if you carry the ....."

SIGH.

Posting this because otherwise I think I'd forget... and this is one thing I know I can change about myself because when I was in Customer Service I noticed how often people would do this sort of thing and I became very good at getting to the point. So... I'll practice.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

100th Post



Hmm. That is sort of embarrassing. A hundred posts already. Some of them were small.

Photo Practice




Just messing around with my mother's fantastic camera. You'll see a lot of this before June.



Friday, January 19, 2007

It's Warm!!!

I went outside and it was warm... now how do I bring that warmth into the house?! Windows don't seem to work... and most of them are nailed shut because of the wind... which, by the way, blew away one of our trash cans last night. No idea where it went.

I like to think it has made it's way to some fancy house where it can act as a Nanny to teach the children to enjoy their imagination and the parents to hold onto each precious moment and quit their job at that nasty ole' bank.

Either that or it went off to kill the Wicked Witch of the East.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

What Steve has in common with his toddler...

I am upstairs, reading the book for my small group and because we have no heating/air it is very easy for sound to travel around the house.

I am sitting here in silence listening to Abby and Steve sing at the top of their lungs. What are they singing? Mostly nonsense. Steve and Abby have a shared belief that the lyrics are not as important as the passion of a song.

A moment a camera can't capture. Sigh.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Oh, for the love...

Orange Sale Goal: 35 Crates
Orange Sale Current: 31.5 Crates sold

Minute Problem: No Fruit. Too Cold.

Be prepared, my lovlies... I don't know what we're selling to subsidize the 40% of the budget that the Orange Sale usually brings in - but you're all going to be hit up.

First Fringe (Bangs for you Americans)


The first hair cut I gave Abby went so well, I decided it was time for a change. No more all-one-length look for Abby. Chic baby girl has bangs now! She was a little shell-shocked in that first picture (you can always tell when Abby is nervous because she clasps her hands together), but her trust in me improved...



Sunday, January 14, 2007

Blatant Abuse of B&W Button



I think I must have discovered the little enhancing features in my iPhoto after these pictures...

Lost Pictures from Coronado...



I'd say the one drawback to taking a good solid truck-full of pictures is that some good ones can fall through the cracks. At least...
I like these...
































I'm going to have a babysitting!

In Abby's effort to confuse the masses she now tells them her Momma is going to have a babysitting.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

That's All Well and Good, but what about the ORANGES you ask?

27 crates sold.
7 more to sell.
One week left.
Pressure's on.

Enthused...

Ok, I realize that I have a tendency to get obsessively enthusiastic about things that I find... good. But, just because I tend to get particularly enthusiastic about books, characters, tvshows, movies, food, desserts, or art projects as I find things I like doesn't make them invalid. ;)

That said, I'm highly 'into' the new book my Bible Study is going through. We're separated into male and female groups reading our "Just for men..." book and "Just for women..." book respectively. Basically it's not just a 'how we're different' sort of thing but more of a 'guide to the inner lives...'

So far the book on men has been very interesting and certainly should make Steve's life simpler as I start to understand some things that perhaps I didn't and react to him in a more productive manner etc, etc. But the book on women, which I've obviously snuck more than a casual look into has been really enlightening too.

The chapter they're going to discuss tonight for example is the whole way a female's mind works opposed to theirs. I like the illustration they used. Basically, like a computer, we have multiple windows open all the time from different programs. Men may have the same files on their computers but they aren't all open at the same time. They deal with one at a time, closing the extra ones so they can focus on the one they are working on. The book made a point that it isn't always our choice to keep all these windows open at once. Sometimes, a window has been stuck or frozen on the screen, despite out best efforts to push it aside or close it. Also, we're plagued with pop-ups that we have little control over either.

ANYWAY it takes specific effort to close a window or a pop-up and really have it stay closed. The best we are able to do sometimes is minimize it. I would add, that too often we might have our stuff from past, present and future plus a few of our friend's windows up there that we're processing or sharing with them.

Further, the book made the point that our reasoning the way it is - where we connect and relate everything - sometimes those windows remain open until we are finally able to resolve it and close it - and that doesn't always require a specific event, but simply enough time or growth that we don't need it up there anymore.

This hit me particularly as brilliant because I maintain with totally honesty that as soon as Steve and I got back together after graduating college - it was smooth sailing; a whole new fantastic relationship. But the break-up (short though it was) was very painful. That was a window open on my computer screen for a good two years after it happened. But there were plenty of open windows that were all about happiness and security and excitement and fun etc. It was just that that one window was just frozen on my screen until one day... I figured out how to 'end task' or something. And then it was gone and it never came back.

It's just interesting. Not ground-breaking or earth-shattering REALLY, but I just love when I understand myself better. Because yeah - sometimes we don't understand why we can't just close that window. It can be frustrating.

And of course I love understanding Steve better too. Snort. I just think that it's connected - I have to understand the reason I'm reacting to him in a certain way in order to better react... if that makes sense.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Totally Inconsequential... but Totally Annoying

I have TiVo... well, the dish network dvr anyway. And the whole point is to not have to remember when all my shows come on.

After a totally angsty "Thanksgiving"episode in December of Law and Order: Criminal Intent there has been a LONG LONG LONG break of Goren/Eames new episodes. I've been waiting and waiting and waiting.

And sure enough - the one night I go out (for the most special alphaTRUCK gal in the world, of course) is the night the new one comes on AND TiVo skips it.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. PFfffT.

iTunes usually sells it the day after the episode airs and it's not available yet... and then there is another three week break. Grr.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Don't Be Scared...


It's still me. Just playing around with my template. The Scribe template was getting tiring. I'll bet my pictures would look nice framed with black...

This is Abby looking at the Rose Parade floats when we walked down to see them and couldn't get tickets.

(Orange Sale Update: 22 crates sold)

(Abby Rash Update: Really seems to be helping... though she still wakes -maybe just by habit- at 3am... not nearly as often though)

Chinese New Year...

Ok, as you all know I do not live my life by astrology nor do I believe it can predict the future. HOWEVER, I do believe that God created the universe and as a cool, all - powerful sort of God, it is very possible that He created patterns and that some of these things - like astrological signs and Chinese Year stuff can in fact be true because it is just someone finding patterns.

For example - I am the definition of the Cancer sign... to the TEE. Steve is the definition of the Scorpio and furthermore we INTERACT just as all the books say we will. Not everyone is so well defined by these things, but you should understand why I'm interested.

Anyway, a Chinese friend of mine wrote to say Happy New Year even though, as a rooster she wasn't looking forward to the year of the Boar. So obviously, I asked, what's in store for the Year of the Dragon people (both me and Steve... and Shannon). And here is what she came back with after searching for reputable sources.


Dragon is very happy to see the pig. After a year of challenges by the yipping dog, the dragon is ready to sit at the banquet table and rest. The tired dragon must remember that the dog is not far away and the clouds of the dog year still dampen his fire. The pig year will bring fullness to the dragon who eats slowly. Self control does not come easily to the fierce dragon, but this year there is little energy stored after battling the dog. The wise dragon will spend resources with caution and build strength for new cycle starting with the rat year in 2008. Enjoy the quiet return to fullness and do not get frustrated at your weakness after battle with the dog all year in 2006. Your strength will return. This year plan trips and business ventures that will not need your full power. Success will come slowly. You will find many reasons for frustration with family and coworkers. It is not the fault of others that you cannot provide the energy you need this year. Control your fire breath and you will receive more assistance and find good fortune.


OK SSERIOUSLY people - I could not possibly describe last year BETTER than the Year of the Yipping DOG. So, this certainly gives reason for me to hope (which I was planning to anyway) that 2007 gives us a freaking break.

And not to be defensive, but I personally interpret this as a little nod for me from God too - a little nudge that all these small, energy-draining, hope-draining trials have done their good work and some respite (well-earned, I am not too sure) is in store.

He's got to talk to me somehow, right?

However, I'm going to find out when the next freaking yipping dog year is coming and prepare myself with a cabinet full of burnt fudge.

note: Okay, just found out it's a twelve year cycle. So the last year of the dog was 1994 which ... yeah... wasn't a good year. Next one is... what... 2018? Yeah... not looking forward to it. Going to save money somewhere and hole up.

18 down, 17 to go...

At first, I was really really happy with the 18 cases...

Ok, no anxiety.

I'm still really happy with 18 cases. It's only one day. It's going to come slower now, but now I only have 17 do get sold in two weeks. THAT is doable.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ....

Trying to keep calm. I only have two weeks to do this in.

I'm not going to be able to sleep.

Oranges, Grapefruit, Anxiety...

My first fundraiser as a mom and... I'm stressing out at the moment. However, I would like to make a resolution NOT to let anxiety over this eat me up. It's going to be OK, I am going to hit up all my friends and even though I don't have 35 friends and that is how many crates I have to sell or else buy myself, I won't let it get to me.

It's all OK.

I'm going to be OK.

I WILL sell this fruit and I won't feel guilty about it.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Will you Listen to me?

Abby was terrific today. She started out the day going to Denny's with Daddy and took her nap and had no accidents. We went to church (without Steve) and listened to the praise band (she clapped and sang and held out her hands) and went to the Sunday School Class (which she calls 'Jesus') and had a great time.

Then for a very long ten minutes she wouldn't do as I said and she was un-phased by my extremely angry voice or threats of loss of dinner with the family (I would have fed her - she just wouldn't have gotten to go with the grandparents). Finally, I took her to the car and had a stern talking to with her.

I saw the moment it clicked that she had missed out on the dinner and I said, "Will you listen to me if we go? Will you listen and not fight me?"

She agreed. And moments later, "Will you listen to me Momma? If we go you have to be happy."

I found that endearing and psychologically amazing.

Even though apparently my angry voice has become void. Oh, well ups and downs...

Thursday, January 04, 2007

What does Adrea have in common with her toddler?

Well, I'll tell you. Routine takes away my anxiety.

Apparently I do well with routine. Today was Abby's first day of Pre-School after the Holiday break and it just felt... great.

I don't know if it is because I know she is having such a good productive thriving time developing her self apart from me and that gives me satisfaction as well as independence...

OR

If it is because, though I have been given plenty of free time during the holidays, I always felt just a bit accountable for taking someone's time - indebted - which just added to the pressure. I.E. Now I need to make up for this favor or I'd better be sure that I've provided every possible thing that could be needed by them while babysitting (not that anyone MAKES me feel that way - I just do feel that way... probably my mom's fault ;) I love you Mom). This is why (Beth and Shannon I am talking to you) I will never ever want to make you feel that way. When I babysit I want it to be pure and simple relief. I am a big girl who can find my own food and improvise if you forgot to give me the favored teether. *I feel the need to point out to the people reading this who may have babysat for me recently that this is not something they do to make me feel anxious... it really is just a me thing (ha ha, mostly).

OR

Maybe it is because I don't have to be anxious about planning my day. I'm not sure if it's like this for all momss - but I find it daunting/stressful to find that balance between filling up my daughter's day with fulfilling, interesting activities and doing the laundry. So when Abby is at pre-school it's like "Ah, I don't have a decision to make." Of course I do have to figure out what I want to do with that time but usually I have a sort of routine I follow for that too.


Either way... everything just looks more manageable.

Monday, January 01, 2007