I am SO not as cool as James...

My brother's facebook account was taken over by spammers or - well... whatever the scheme is when they pose as you asking your "friends" for money. Same script as the guys James Lamb played with a while back and I really really wanted to do this whole thing where I wasted their time too but Jack was crying and Abby saying she needed to throw up and I gave up. I'm so disappointed. Hopefully I won't be approached again as I wouldn't want any of your accounts to be the victims, but if I am, I at least hope I have time to make it a good story! And yes, I knew all along it wasn't him. I was TRYING to have fun with it but... sigh... to no avail.

Aaron

Hi

7:24amAdrea

hey

you ok?

7:27amAaron

not at the moment

7:27amAdrea

what is up?

7:28amAaron

l need your help

7:28amAdrea

sure what do you need?

7:28amAaron

am stuck in london and l need your help in getting backhome

l need you to loan me some cash..l'll refund you as soon as am back home

7:31amAdrea

Hey buddy - get off my brother's account.

7:31amAaron

Hello you there?

7:32amAaron

You there Adrea?

10 Years

We were planning a bit more of a big hurrah for our ten year anniversary... but a certain nameless baby had us reconsidering more of a local trip.

We went to the Viceroy in Santa Monica. Which, by the way is not all that impressive at all from the outside. But inside - very swanky. Service was very nice (though they messed up our bill in an extreme way - they then fixed it pleasantly though). Steve found a little package that included a bunch of little perks. We didn't even realize it was walking distance to both the pier and 3rd Street.

My big plan for the weekend was to try all different restaurants - i.e. not go for the chains we know. Success was neutral - not great, not awful. See? I do have reasons for my madness. Why waste the money and calories on so-so? Huh? huh?

Anyway I'd say the highlight of the trip was the hotel. It was just really nice. The beachside winds made for open "balcony" door days and nights.



Steve enjoying breakfast on the patio while the swanky people sleep in
waiting for dinner at Bubba Gumps
Still waiting
Sunset from our room

I Remember...

There are a lot of things, a very many lot of things, that have already completely slipped my mind about raising Abby and Jack. It's so sad, you think as you stare and stare and stare at these little guys that you'll always remember just how they scrunch up their lips as they stretch or just how those little first squeals and noises sound. Well, at least I was SURE I would remember everything while I was going through it with Abby. Then, Shannon had Wesley and would share what was going on or ask if I went through the same thing and I'd stop and realize... I'd already lost things. With Jack I was a little more prepared, I knew I couldn't hold onto everything. But I also had the blog to add some words to all the pictorial evidence I collected. That helps. The albums (scrapbooking) helps. Other people's memories help.

And, after all (as Abby would say), there is a constant influx of new words, new funny things, new hugs that make your heart melt - and that helps most of all.

All that to say... Jack's babyhood is pretty much up. He was having trouble sleeping the other night and I picked him up (something I don't do since he settles better on his own usually- thrusting a little hand thru the crib slats to hold onto mine for the fifteen seconds it takes him to go back to sleep) and I cradled him like a baby while I sat in an armchair. And I just sat and stared and cuddled my cheek against his head and just knew we're done with this phase. There are still plenty of cuddles in Jack and my future, but the baby cuddles... those are done. Every now and then I still might cradle him to me, but it will just be clear that it's a nod to the past - to the comfort of babyhood - not the present, not the norm.

Of course, I happen to get one more shot at this gorgeous babyhood thing. I do wish I knew He-Who-Has-Not-Been-Named's name. That would make him feel a little more real to me. Much as I blame Steve for our lack of name, he's only at fault in that he won't force ME into a name, because it's not like I've got one I desperately want.

Unexpected... but Good?

So, we knew that having the temperature control for the air downstairs would cause some problems, but hey- either way we would have had some serious climate differences between where the thermostat was and the other half of the house.

But since the drywall has been put up, closing up the curved niche around the stairs into a closet - there is virtually no heat transferring from the upstairs "sunroom" to the downstairs. So, right now, for example, I am baking upstairs while it is probably freezing downstairs. Which has always been PARTIALLY true

It's not an awful thing. I just have to go down and adjust the temperature. And, once we are using the downstairs again... it might be really really nice...

It's just... unexpected... silly... and... a little annoying.

Robbed

the wii keeps robbing me of this one specific step on the step aerobics program. It's the second time around the sideways steps... and I have NEVER missed it and it ALWAYS thinks I did.

It's Been Two Weeks Since...

Catchup time again

Maxwell could not have had better timing in coming into the world. He arrived on Wednesday, smack dab between our two away weekends. Above is Tim grabbing a quick bite of cold In N Out.

Caiah had a fabulous time in the waiting room, playing with Aunties, Uncles, and cars... and more cars.



We spent the weekend in Coronado two weekends ago. Basically we spent the weekend in the pool at Coronado. It wasn't as hot there as it is here obviously, but we have two kids who like to run and jump and that is not always pleasant for Noni's downstairs neighbor relations. BUT this was the first time we could find to get out and go and possibly the last before baby #3, so we wanted to take the opportunity. We had a great time with Noni and Auntie (neither of whom minded the running, jumping, snack eating, or requests to sit with them for showings of Backyardigans) so I'd say it was definitely worth it.

(neither of my kids was a particular fan of night swimming however)


Jack, my Jack. Has a bit of an entitlement issue. This is him grabbing a snack at Gramma's... on her table.
Jack gets his hair cuts whilst being distracted by the Wii. He does not appreciate the interference in his game, but he doesn't seem to mind too much one way or the other.
Pearl gave us a call one Saturday night to talk to Abby - seems she wanted to match outfits. Abby told me in urgent tones that Pearl wanted her to wear her blue polka dot dress and did I know which one she meant because it was VERY important.
Jack still insists on climbing and has for many months now figured out that if you push things against the thing you want to get higher toward it works out mostly well... he spends a lot of time on his tippy toes precariously perched on things.
Abby had two weeks with a personal instructor at the Cunninghams with Claire. She has picked up real swimming so fast this summer first at the normal place and then at the personal lessons. We have had a three week hiatus though because Steve and I were out of town for two weekends and didn't want to make those Fridays hard to handle. The picture is her arranging by rainbow color of course, the little creatures that she had to dive for.

I have NO pictures of it, but she also spent an entire month of Kindergarten Transition at her new school. She went on TWO field trips which she absolutely adored. The first to OSH hardware store. The second to a museum with a Noah's Arc exhibit (get the OSH connection now? ;) ). The kids were learning all about tools and supplies beause they were learning all about Noah's Arc. Tee hee.

I, for one, was worried about this last four weeks - it would be transitioning not only from one school to another, but from a 9-12 day to a 8:30-3 day. She had lunches at school, new teachers, new rules, new philosophy ... but... NO issues.

I'd say the only thing that was difficult was that after such a long day she'd have a lot of pent up energy. Luckily the swim lessons, though still with their own rules, got enough of that muscle tension out of her that it was perfect - AND I would usually take her straight from lessons to another pool where she could just goof off.

The time went fast. I should also mention... Abby met Joe in pre-K. Joe is a boy. I don't know much about him except that Abby says he is the silliest boy ever. And he makes her laugh... OH how he makes her laugh. Steve, usually forever living firmly in the present, has said, despite not meeting Joe or knowing anything about him, that he is not sure if he approves if Abby marries him.

I'll give you all a second on that one. No that was not ME who said that, that was Steve. His daughter's future is the only future Steve has much trouble not worrying about. He's a bit mushy about Abby. And before you think he's totally crazy - it is true that quite a lot of kids that start in this school will be schoolmates from now until the end of high school (or jr. high at least). So, basically, he's already keeping an eagle eye out. No one slips under the radar just because they are under the age of 6, no, no... Steve's on the job. I did point out that someone being the silliest boy ever does give credence to the idea that Abby is looking for someone like her Daddy - and that's got to give him points, right? Er Hmm. We'll just that all sort itself out for now.

TO the MAX

Yesterday, right on schedule, Max (my nephew) was born. Oddly enough the whole day worked out just like a normal day to US. I didn't get the email that Sarah had gone into labor until at 7am, which is the usual time I'm getting everyone up and ready to go anyway. I dropped Abby off at school and headed for the hospital, starting the waiting at right around 8am.

We had our usual Scheidler fun in the waiting room. Everything from taking silly pictures, to gambling on the baby stats (though no one writes anything down so I refuse to accept defeat) to watching tv and making fun of each other.

Caiah and Jack had a great time playing with cars and unguarded iPhones. We watched people consistently come down the elevator for no other purpose than to ride back up. My theory is that the elevator is slow so people just get in no matter which way its going counting that it'll get them where they need to be eventually. Steve had a meandering conversation with himself about baseball stats. Samantha kept in touch with Tim via Facebook chat in the delivery room

By lunch I was feeling for Sarah, not because of the pain but because Tim had told us the contractions had slowed a bit and that would have been stressful for me if I were going the no drug route - because, I think doing natural you have to count on your stamina a bit more and anything that lengthens the process... Well.. I felt for her. Of course she may have napped and if thats the case she probably woke up ready to go. I haven't gotten the full official personal eye witness account yet - stay tuned on her blog for that!

But about an hour after we had lunch Tim ran out to eat, confirmed things had picked back up and off he went. We settled back down to wait but before I could even SUGGEST MadLibs Tim ran back out to say Max was here, but he had NO information because it had literally just happened - one push and out he came.

So then we settled in a while again... next time for the visits. Max is a VERY healthy 9 pounds 10 ounces. CUTE as a button. And in no danger of being put down on his own anytime soon.

By the time we got home it was 4:30 - just like a normal ole' workday. A bit surreal but all in all a pretty productive non-productive day!

Psychology of Dilation

Okay - there has just got to be something psychological about dilation.

On the one side you have Sarah - someone who is blatantly open in many ways about... almost everything - who walks around 4cm dilated for weeks.

On the other you have me who can barely get to 4cm dilated during active labor/transition unless you DRUG me. THEN, once drugged, I immediately relax and deliver babies ten minutes later whether it's a good idea or not.

Gloatbooking

Hi there... just thought I'd mention I am literally up to date on scrapbooking. EXCEPT for Hawaii which is waiting for more pages and I suppose I have not actually printed out this last weekend trip to Coronado's pictures. In fact, some I haven't even gotten off the camera.

Anyway as I sorted and double sorted and triple sorted my huge stack of pictures from Hawaii - half of which are easily taken up by Abby running and dancing in the waves, the most significant picture... is the one I took of the positive pregnancy test.

It's interesting. On the one hand, Hawaii stands apart from this little unexpected baby. When I think about Hawaii I think most of Abby enjoying the water, Jack's fearless pursuit of the tide, the family - the whole extended family - working basically in harmony with little family spats among us that didn't seem to run too deep... and burgers - craving and eating a lot of hamburgers.

Which of course, since I haven't eaten a hamburger willingly (exept for Tim's worcestershire burgers which actually have flavor other than ground up dead cow) for many years, brings me to the other hand ... i.e. on the other hand, I think of Hawaii and all I feel is the uncertainty that came and went the first half of the trip, wondering now and then why the thing that was supposed to happen wasn't (I'm being delicate for my male readers). And then the shock... the worry for Jack... for myself... for my mom (at least I KNEW she wouldn't pack up and move she HATES packing up and moving)... And also the excitment - the "I can't believe we really had a whoops" (Most of us womenfolk are a big funny about this - on the one hand never intentionally sabotaging the process, and not really truly thinking that whatever precaution we're taking might fail... but then you do hear of those random cases... so it's pretty silly how often we wonder... "could I be?" even when there is really no reason to suppose... ) ANYWAY... a lot of Hawaii is a blur of awe and worry and determination "we'll make it work, we sorta kinda wanted this... and God gave it to us so dang it's going to be awesome".

But it's so funny it just feels like ages and ages and ages ago. And now I have ages and ages and ages until I meet our little guy. How about for a pretend name we call him Chance - it's not a name I would ever use, but no worse than Leaping Lizard... or Chancy - at least that's a bit more male sounding....

Samantha

SUE.

People.

Sheesh.

Solidly Indignant

The baby who shall not yet be named has gotten to the solid & indignant phase of pregnancy... well... growth for him.

He is thoroughly offended when I slouch or in any other way shrink his already shrinking living space. I have told him that the space is growing JUST fine and that he is the one exceeding the space, but that doesn't seem to matter. I let my posture crumble or God-forbid bend weirdly to retrieve a toy for Jack and I can count on indignant little legs pushing back. Or knees or toes or whatever is asserting nameless's right to space.

He is also hilariously solid. I'll be resting on my side with my arm along my side/side of my belly and will feel a real true solid baby roll across. That is what shocked me the most after having Abby - the realization (obvious though it is) that this baby wasn't sort of a goo who suddenly became solid at birth - but all those little bones and fingernails and muscles were all formed IN me and it was a baby not some ephemeral transitional fish that was doing all that moving in me.

Since he who has not been named isn't nearly as active in utero as Jack I find these rolling movements disconcerting - like I'm sitting in a boat on a lake and the Loch Ness Monster suddenly surges underneath the water. There's just this pause I do, it's all so surreal - even the third time.

You Know How I Gush

I know I have a tendency to get very excited about something I like (which, come on, how is that so bad?)...but I'm really enjoying my wii fit. Day two of having it set up and this was my first actual exercise.

Granted, I don't think it would do too much for those of you who want abs of steel in three months. But for me I think it's going to be perfect.

The yoga for example is good yoga, and the whole sensing the center of gravity thing has made me realize I've been doing some poses wrong for years.

The step/aerobics are simple, but especially now that I'm pregnant and easily winded, keep me working. Of course, since they think I am obese and not pregnant, the wii probably thinks I'm amazing for my size.

There are two main reasons I am excited that this worked out (Steve got me the wii for my birthday, Aaron & Megan got me the wii fit).

1. Much as walking/running is effective, it's not nearly as easy as not having to look decent, not having to make baby work along with me (I did it during Jack's nap), not being in the sweltering SoCal heat, not putting shoes on... etc. You may notice the treadmill fulfills most of these requirements as well, but it's downstairs in the construction, it's a litttle too loud to hear when Jack wakes up on the monitor or though I can WATCH tv I can't hear it. Which brings me to ...

2. Points for a game is MUCH more motivating to me than calorie burn or mileage acheived. Those are so ephemeral anyway - but points, and a video monitor announcing I have bested my best score - now THAT, that I can sink my teeth into ;).

It is exactly what I'd hoped for. All the mindless obsession of solitaire on my iPhone and all of the benefits of a walk. Besides air and sun, but bah, who ever needed those?

I do wonder though if they are letting my belly throw off what SHOULD be my center of balance. I seem to have to lean forward a lot more than I'd think in order to get a perfect little beep on the wii step. Which says I have no rhythm by the way... thanks.

Benefit of the Doubt

Why, even if there has to be consequences, you should always give your child the benefit of the doubt:

So I had told Abby before she had gotten in trouble Tuesday that we were going to take pictures of the new baby and her so that he knew when he grew up that she loved him even before he was born. She was so distraught by the bugs at the place we were taking pictures (beautifully done by Sarah see here) that I packed Jack and she off early with Gramma. Hence the BIG trouble.

Anyway nothing more has been said about it. I haven't harped on about how disappointed I was (I wasn't, Sarah still got a very cute meaningful shot of both the kids with me) or how she did poorly (I wasn't thrilled about the bugs either, and I have to take 99.9% of the credit for her reaction to bugs as I surely modeled it for her constantly).

Then last night as she is going to sleep she says, "Momma I have to tell you something. I'm very full of worry about something. How will the grown up baby know I love him?" (this took me a second and I kept asking for clarification) "Because of the bugs, because I couldn't handle the bugs, the new baby won't know I loved him."

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, mom's heart broken in two. So, I promised we would take more pictures this weekend.

And though of course I think of Abby (and Jack and yet-to-be-named-baby) as the best of all worlds of all children and people ever... I don't think this is particular to them. I just think we parents are a lot harder on our kids than we are on ourselves.

Milestones

We've all been up to a lot apparently.

The-baby-still-possibly-named-Ethan is 26 weeks "old" and has turned. This was fascinating this pregnancy because the other two had been head down (i.e. NOT breach) from a very early time... or more likely they just happened to be facing down for the ultrasounds from a very early time. This time at week 25 I suddenly felt really really really weird. As if, well, this gives it away, but, as if the baby were one day in a totally different orientation. Like suddenly there isn't enough room for my organs and he's kicking them out of the way to suit his new hang out. Granted, I'm relieved. Pain though it is to heal from giving birth at least it's familiar the 'traditional' way.

Jack-Jack has had his mother ruthlessly, heartlessly, horribly take away his bottle. He was only using it to fall asleep but obviously we want him to have a different comfort mechanism in place before baby comes so that I'm not doing something traumatic during an even more traumatic time. I resent having to do it. I stopped nursing him earlier than I'd planned and there were great positives to that - but the bottle really took that place for him... and so I actually found this harder than weaning Abby. At least with weaning, I dunno - it's different. Not sure why. This just felt like I was taking away his teddy bear. It was miserable. It doesn't help that he's getting fifty new teeth or that Tylenol does NOTHING for him and I lost a brand new bottle of baby Motrin.

He's been FINE with it, but obviously angry and frustrated at bedtime. He won't accept the formula in sippy cup form. And he wakes up angry and frustrated. These two things are tied for worst. He used to wake up so happy and ready to start the day.

BUT tonight he was acting like himself for the first time since the bottle went away. I have high hopes... but am still probably more traumatized by his whole thing than he is.

Abby has a new friend at school. His name is Joe and he is apparently very silly. I asked her yesterday how school was. She said, "I was very ------ at school today. So I flip flopped around very loudly and sighed and tossed my hair this way and that way." (I asked her to repeat what she was at school because I didn't hear it) "Furious. I was very furious at school today. Joe wasn't there. What does furious mean?" (I explain it means very very angry and ask if that's how she felt) Abby nods emphatically, "I was furious."

Hmmm. She's not going to be a high maintenance girlfriend or anything ;). I have known thru memory and my mom that I had crushes VERY early on. Scott Meyer asked me out in Kindergarten and I'll never forget our little love affair. And yet I have wondered if my mind (or my mom) has exaggerated these crushes, but... I think, much as I point to Steve's extensive experience in flirting, this is probably coming straight from me.

She's doing great in full time school. She's doing INCREDIBLE swimming and was declared "water safe" by her teacher.

She also got in trouble today. No, she doesn't walk around like a crazy stepford child all the time, but we rarely get to the point that she can't have a second chance in order to redeem her choices. She basically got confused, which I'm convinced is often something we don't understand enough as adults can cause a lot of conflict. But she wouldn't budge when Gramma was carrying Jack to the car and she was supposed to be following and there were cars and strangers and Jack doesn't exactly weigh nuthin'. She was distraught and I had to just let her leave distraught. No fun. But she recovered by the time I got home and nicely and politely - without blaming me explained what had happened. She had thought we were all leaving at the same time and couldn't find the words at the time because she was already in trouble by the time I came to talk to her. "Please give me a second chance, Mama" was what she left crying, which, by the way, absolutely broke me in half. Anyway she then asked if we could do the pictures there again when she was "in control." (as in 'in control of her emotions') Yes she makes me feel like a jerk. But I also feel whenever we get to THIS point, where she's been so disruptive or difficult or whatever that there simply has to be consequences, she seems to turn a maturity corner. It's the whole idea that sometimes she doesn't get to get a second chance, sometimes she has to deal with her choices (even if none of the options is what she really wants).... and dealing with that, and eventually succeeding in dealing with it gives her pride.

I turned 33 today. The only reason I know what age I turned was that Jen G turned 33 yesterday and blogged about it and I know I'm the same age as she is. I still don't take much stock in age in the sense that it is not something I fear or regret. I feel like I'm a late bloomer when it comes to organizing my life and so I'm just looking forward to "arriving" at a place where I'm a bit more able to take care of all the random details of life and if thats 35 or 45 then bring it on the sooner the better.

Steve has been dealing with the construction downstairs on all levels. Though completely in on what is happening, I'm not particularly involved which is just how I like it.

Did I mention we're at the painting stage of my mom and my Christmas book?

That's all folks.

for now...

Getting Ready for Max

Just in case Max is nothing like his brother (these are my nephews I'm talking about), and decides to make an early entrance, I have both camera batteries charged and all memory cards ready.

In the meantime, did I warn you not to get attached to the name Ethan for my new one? Well, consider yourself warned. Steve has cooled on Ethan. So he's going back to the books.

He is not having decision problems in other baby areas though - he set up the boys bunk beds yesterday with minimal swearing.

Devil's Advocate

Do not freak out about this.

I am posting this site - though I may be extremely, extremely behind the 8 ball on this one - for one reason... it is the opposite (or seems to be) of all the alarmist stuff that one finds when one googles what one should not be googling. I do not know anything about them, and they could be much more crazy than the random people that post random things that google displays for me o see. BUT tonight I think they look kind of cool. First let me explain why I what I am even sort of talking about.

Here is what happens every few weeks in my household:

Something is done or bought that triggers my "haven't I heard bad stories about this?" bell
I "google" said thing
I get a bunch of links detailing my exact fear (many of which are random people all over the world telling anecdotal proof of what I fear)
I also usually get a bunch that help balance out those other crazy nervous moms out there that are spouting all this crazy nervous "proof"
I email Aaron, asking, "uh oh have I doomed our entire household by airing out the mattress only three days"
He sighs, rubs his forehead, and spends valuable time doing "real" doctor type research.
He gives me a balanced response.
I chill out.
All is well.

Well, so, we got all three kids new mattresses. Okay, they came WITH their new beds. I remembered how we aired out Abby's (now Jack's) crib mattress for like three months before letting her sleep on it (actually I don't think she was even born while it was airing).

The boys' two really gave off some fumes. It's like we just painted that room sort of fumes. So, I google "new mattress toxins" and freak out. The debate apparently stems mostly from the law about mattresses having to have flame retardants now. I, like one of the commenters on this blog post, presumed that had to do with smoking or that awful occurence in the 80's or 90's when the father set his son on fire. I would have remained thinking that if not for this site

www.stats.org

and more specifically these two posts there:

http://stats.org/stories/2007/attack_killer_mattresses_nov6_07.htm
http://thestatsblog.wordpress.com/2008/02/12/if-you-vomit-while-talking-to-a-cbs-reporter-are-you-allergic-to-cbs/

Am I holding them up to be the end all be all? No, but at least, if you are freaked out about something in the middle of the night - especially a statistic one may have just heard - it's going to take the crazy down a notch.

I think those in my family and those in my friends' circles have seen enough unexplained, nonsensical cancer in our loved ones to realize there are risks out there we don't know about. So I don't believe just because it can't be proven, it's not true, so please don't take that away from me posting this site. I am just enjoying reading the 'other side' to some of these scares.

I'm still airing out the mattresses, I'm also going to get vinyl covers since bedwetting is likely anyway... I am not going to freak out about this however and order new mattresses... tonight anyway...