Enthused...

Ok, I realize that I have a tendency to get obsessively enthusiastic about things that I find... good. But, just because I tend to get particularly enthusiastic about books, characters, tvshows, movies, food, desserts, or art projects as I find things I like doesn't make them invalid. ;)

That said, I'm highly 'into' the new book my Bible Study is going through. We're separated into male and female groups reading our "Just for men..." book and "Just for women..." book respectively. Basically it's not just a 'how we're different' sort of thing but more of a 'guide to the inner lives...'

So far the book on men has been very interesting and certainly should make Steve's life simpler as I start to understand some things that perhaps I didn't and react to him in a more productive manner etc, etc. But the book on women, which I've obviously snuck more than a casual look into has been really enlightening too.

The chapter they're going to discuss tonight for example is the whole way a female's mind works opposed to theirs. I like the illustration they used. Basically, like a computer, we have multiple windows open all the time from different programs. Men may have the same files on their computers but they aren't all open at the same time. They deal with one at a time, closing the extra ones so they can focus on the one they are working on. The book made a point that it isn't always our choice to keep all these windows open at once. Sometimes, a window has been stuck or frozen on the screen, despite out best efforts to push it aside or close it. Also, we're plagued with pop-ups that we have little control over either.

ANYWAY it takes specific effort to close a window or a pop-up and really have it stay closed. The best we are able to do sometimes is minimize it. I would add, that too often we might have our stuff from past, present and future plus a few of our friend's windows up there that we're processing or sharing with them.

Further, the book made the point that our reasoning the way it is - where we connect and relate everything - sometimes those windows remain open until we are finally able to resolve it and close it - and that doesn't always require a specific event, but simply enough time or growth that we don't need it up there anymore.

This hit me particularly as brilliant because I maintain with totally honesty that as soon as Steve and I got back together after graduating college - it was smooth sailing; a whole new fantastic relationship. But the break-up (short though it was) was very painful. That was a window open on my computer screen for a good two years after it happened. But there were plenty of open windows that were all about happiness and security and excitement and fun etc. It was just that that one window was just frozen on my screen until one day... I figured out how to 'end task' or something. And then it was gone and it never came back.

It's just interesting. Not ground-breaking or earth-shattering REALLY, but I just love when I understand myself better. Because yeah - sometimes we don't understand why we can't just close that window. It can be frustrating.

And of course I love understanding Steve better too. Snort. I just think that it's connected - I have to understand the reason I'm reacting to him in a certain way in order to better react... if that makes sense.