No Location, Locations

The photographer's suggestion of practicing with a doll is especially helpful when scoping out locations - helps with composition and lighting. So I went around the house with "Bearbear" and it really was helpful

Hair Cuts and Gus

Dr Phil Excercise

If you ever go on the Dr. Phil show, he will ask you to list these things prior to filming (or so he said on today's episode):

10 defining moments, seven critical choices and five pivotal people.

And I thought. Hmm.

In No Particular Order

10 defining moments:

• Waiting during Aaron's surgery/seeing Mom hear news of 2nd
  
• GATE art class in jr. high
  
• Dad talk
• Waking up in this house and feeling home and HAPPY
  
• Finding out that, in fact, the boy did not like me (not steve boy)
  
• Having face burned over by chemical peel
  
• First night as leadership of Youth Group/ folding in
  
• Undue Shame after hospital thought I was lying (13yrs.old)
  
• Abby's birth/truly overwhelming love
• Eating Chicken Fajitas Steve made (i.e. letting go of the absolute that I wouldn't like anything new)
  

7 Critical Choices:

• Choosing Christ/ life as Christian (because- obvious)
• Not forcing 4 year college/going to Moorpark (because - humbling, set me up to have time in college to major in art-to have had that year of separation almost from the normal stream of things)
• Westmont/majoring in art (freed me... not sure how... just did)
• Saying yes to that first date (wasn't going to, you know)
• Being Happy even when things got tough (marriage, parenting, sickness, stress)
• Being part of Agape (pushing passed comfort zone)
• Moving to Pasadena (such a leap of faith -could have been humiliating/isolation which in turn gave me independence of sorts)
  

5 pivotal people (immediate family is a given):

• Steve (constantly, always pushes me to go beyond comfort, to question everything and reminds me I actually do not know EVERYthing and oh yes, if I take a moment to notice, I'm quite loved)
  
• Mr. Nubling (completely confirmed that yes, actually I was special and brilliant - was plain irreplaceable and, oh, by the way, agreed that reading was, in fact, glorious above all)
• Hazel (authenticity - humbling to be around someone I think is *so* cool yet who I will never be more like because we are *so* different and who I actually just trust implicitly)
  
• Jen W/P (completely woke me up to figure out who I was... helped define who I actually was outside of my imaginary world- I just plain wouldn't have ended up me without her)
• June D (*as a sisterly figure* She was all girl and all vulnerability)
  

More for Jen's Portfolio

Early Maternity

Sorry, Beth, but I think you look great... even though it is just a hint of that new baby and you're half way through. I promise to take it down in a few days.

Messing with Flowers

Auntie Annie

The first time Annie met Abby, my dad prepared Annie that Abby was (at the time) very shy and not known for taking to new people.

But Abby (who I think had (has?) a natural instinct for who needs special attention at any given time) loved her from the first moment they met. Of course, how could a child not adore an adult that spent an hour vehemently "catching" bubbles in the living room?


The largest portion of both of my parent's families reside back East. Annie made the trip for my wedding and Aaron's wedding when it wasn't always easy. And she made us feel like it was an honor for us to welcome her.



She got to meet and adore both Abby and Jack. And OH! How she adored them.

She was a little silly, my Aunt Annie, a little on the nutty side and I feel like I might be the very silly, nutty Aunt to my family...

And she just left us. Just now...


I feel sad. And lessened.

Hitting the Wall

Staring, unfocused, eyes hurt, hair may as well have been done by rabid wolves, back strained, head heavy, kids asleep... so why aren't I?

The Struggle

I have is that the photography I like so much right now is really commercial - so the kids are important but there is definitely a focus on the clothes... So ... right. Wanting it all is all.

Practice, Practice Practice

Odd things...

Are important in hindsight.

I feel very rich that Steve met all my father's family (the ones that I knew) before the older siblings passed away. He may not have spent more than an hour at one wildly Italian get together, but for some reason, that makes me happy that he was somehow a party to them.

Thinking of Auntie Annie tonight. And my dad.

I love....

The new fangled video baby monitor I bought for Jack. It's perfect for the paranoid mother on the go.

If I were a Leg Twitch

Then I would encourage the taste buds of the body in which I was set up to torture to like alcohol. Because I think that would help.

Leg twitch, leg twitch, why dost though hate me so?

The Great Irony

Believe it or not... after all my treking to the ally (which I still like, don't get me wrong), but my backyard has great light. Morning for sure... late afternoon for sure.

This is fantastic.

PLEASE bring your kids dressed cutely to my home for pictures people... I'm just WAITING...

Jen's Sweater Gift

Jack - the super cool sweater model...

In Defense of Looking Like A Slob

I just recently started trying to actually dress every day - like a real person rather than a mom... like in jeans and a shirt rather than work-out clothes.

The problem with that?

I do not feel like changing BACK into work out clothes in order to work out and then once I've done the activity I don't want to change BACK BACK into real clothes unless I get a shower which I rarely am able to do since I've just used up Jack's nap to work out.

SO I can change into real clothes later after getting washed up or Steve gets home but by then I'm cooking dinner and putting the kids down to sleep which is not particularly fun in regular clothes.

It's madness I tell you.

Heads UP!

I hate when people change their email addresses. I am *so* bad at updating the new address in my contacts list.

HOWEVER...

I'm going to change over to my gmail account because hotmail is driving me up the wall. Besides losing some emails altogether, it flips out unable to let me write anything in its new froofy mode so I have to choose plain text which takes thirty seconds to boot and a pop up window, it just makes me annoyed.

Leaping Lizard...Biding his time...

Does anyone else get the feeling that Jack is just setting us up? He is SO sweet and SO happy and SO easy... and yet when I got him in the bath this morning he was so fascinated with everything he would not sit down. Babies are psychotically strong if you didn't already know. He had such determination in his eyes... it made me think "uh-oh." When this kid has control over his actions... and muscles to back it up... I think we're all going to be in for a coup.

Fun with Flowers

(yes that is probably a hair on my lens - I am after all losing hair in clumps. apparently, in case you were wondering, during pregnancy its not like you gain extra hair, you just don't shed as much - the hair stays in a holding pattern of sorts. Then, as your hormones stabilize back to normal all the "holding" hair, says , "whoops, time to let go" and there you have it - HAIR everywhere)

I can't say that I am particularly impressed with pictures of flowers... they don't, after all, run away or stick out their tongue or move all that much. However, I like these. I was paying attention to framing my photo without the assumption that I crop it later. Pretty basic, eh? Well, yes, but I've been concentrating ONLY on capturing those elusive baby/childhood moments for four years and seven months. The smile! The smile plus the outfit! the smile plus the outfit plus the relative! Composition was for those who fiddled with... well... plant life ;). No, for me there was one half a second at any given time that was the perfect moment that I wanted to catch. If it was a bit blurry, well, so be it... This whole focus (ha ha, no pun intended) on photography as more of a way to let outlet my creativity again is something to get used to.



I used to love taking random "Artsy" pictures but got extremely sick of paying for them to be developed and having no place for them in my photo albums or homes (this was before fantastic cameras after all) so I decided to stop being wasteful and frooffy and just take the pictures of people.

Well, now I'm looking to have it all. MWAH ha ha HA Ha ha.

Byproducts

Steve has taken on the first morning Jack shift since we had those awful two weeks of no sleep for ANYone. The last three nights have been great despite mastitis, accidents, and falling off the bed.

There are two funny thing that have changed as a result.

• for some reason Jack poops every morning for Steve where he was only pooping once every three days or so with me
• Steve has been choosing Jack's outfits and they are REALLY cute. Very dashing.

Mastitis... AGAIN

JOY! Really. Actually, its easier to cure it seems to me than the flu which is what I thought I was coming down with.

Still. Oh for crying out loud. And as I'm waiting for Steve to pick up the meds Abby is coughing near throwing up and just fell out of the bed.

Kids, grow up to be doctors. Not for the money and certainly not for the job satisfaction... just so you can be the hero to your family when they need you.

Thanks Aaron.

First Back Yard Photos

Oh poor Gus... little do you know how annoyed you will one day be with my camera...

Red Headed Step Camera

Birthday Party with friends




Making Cookies with Friends

Easter Egg hunt at the school

My little elph, as much as I love it, is the camera I use when I can't lug my other camera around. Subsequently, photos are taken few and far between and seldom downloaded off the camera...

Here are a few that were stuck there a while

Self Portrait- Me with Bangs

Oh Goodness. Not so lovin the bangs with this length of hair - I think I'll be happy with them with longer hair. At the moment trying very hard not to feel like I look like Dora the Explorer.

Really though, excellent option besides chopping off hair completely. When I like to make a change, I like it to be a noticable one.

no need for words

And we have plants and light...

Zoo

Abby, Micaiah, Sarah, Jack and I went to the zoo today. It was good. It was the most activity I've seen out of any animals ever personally. The gorillas were walking around, the baby gorilla came literally right up to the glass and pounded on it right where Abby was standing. The lions were not hiding, the elephant was playing with some crazy looking toy and ... okay I guess that was it. But it was cool.

Abby has unfortunately learned how to go through an experience like Mommy does. She gets it in her head what she wants to see (the giraffes), looks at everything as we pass and whether or not it is cool and fascinating takes two seconds to appreciate it and then is ready to up and move on.

She did NOT like the petting zoo, nope... not even a little.

Jack was asleep in the wrap the entire time... cute but not terribly interested in his first time at the zoo. He was quite the attraction though. People kept pointing and smiling when they realized I had a baby wrapped up on me.

Pictures are all on Sarah's blog so look to her site when she gets a chance to update

Me and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Night

How did it end up so bad? We went to bed early. The cough. The coughs are the problem.

Abby coughs horribly in her sleep and we were out of Tylenol. I go to the store in my jammies to get Tylenol but she is in such a deep sleep she won't surface.

I cough horribly - it must have been 1am or so I woke up gagging/coughing, waking up Jack as well. Steve gets me water. I fall asleep. At 2am I am awoken by a completely indignant Jack who I have just spilled cold water all over (apparently I fell asleep holding the water glass and Jack was next to me). I put a blanket down on try to get us both back asleep thinking we're both going to be moldy in the morning.

Jack not really happy, Me not really happy, Abby wakes up gagging/coughing - Steve administers Tylenol. Jack not happy for the rest of the night, Steve finally takes him downstairs at 6 or 7am at which point Jack has a huge poop. Lucky Steve.

I am RATHER cranky but gosh darn it that little boy is so darn cute and Abby slept in and so... even though I felt I just wasn't going to make it - it was just fine.

Camera Strike

I need to take like a month long break of taking pictures of Abby (unless of course she asks). Maybe it will help the extreme dislike she has.

I hope something works because I love my new lens and would like nothing better than some beautiful pictures of Abby - but alas... she is against all things camera related.

Jack, however, is not yet annoyed... and look how freaking cute he is.

I'm in Love

Thanks to a gift from my dad I bought a fixed 50mm lens. And I like it... alot... David (aka grandpa) suggested a fixed lens, uncomplicated by other bells and whistles such as zooms, may be a sharper lens. Wellllll I think he's right. This picture is funny to use because I got twelve of the most gorgeous pictures of this sweetheart, but this was the best example of the sharpness of the eyes I've been trying to get for months now. I still can't quite figure out how to quickly convince the camera to focus directly on what I want it to - but I'll get there.

Fire, Flood, Aliens, Tornedo, Rodents of Unusual Size...

So Jack has gotten back into a pretty consistent sleeping pattern again. So why do the circles under my eyes just get darker and darker?

I'll tell you why.

So Jack sleeps from 8-12am and then from 1amish-5am. Seems perfectly heavenly from a baby perspective, doesn't it? But the problem is Jack has lost his "in between". He is either asleep(zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) or screaming "FIRE FIRE - THE WHOLE HOUSE IS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!"
then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz



then "MY LEG IS BEING GNAWED OFF BY BEARS!"

then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz




then "HOLY CRUD ITS AN ASTEROID, ITS AN ASTEROID!"

And then at 5 he just wants to boogie. He wants to talk and laugh and smile and coo and stare upside down at the fan - cuddle? no he does NOT want to cuddle. ANYTHING but Cuddling becuase any attempt to cuddle he responds with "AHHHH DEFORESTATION TREES ARE FALLING ON OUR HOUSE JUMP SAVE YOURSELVES!!!!!"

I would like to take a moment to say I love Steve because he has for the last couple weeks Jack has been doing this, either taken Jack with him downstairs to let me get a few minutes sleep or in some way been involved - for example: this morning Steve had to get going early so he couldn't take Jack at 6am but he wasn't mad and frustrated, he just stayed with Jack and I for a while and tickled Jack and really turned it into a rather nice morning.

Backyard... Interrupted

(not really, nothing is wrong - but we've had a half a week of no progress while the electrician comes in)

For Posterity's Sake

I know people have asked me how long it took me to lose my pregnancy weight last time and I was too busy with a baby to really document it. NOW with a webLOG I can just jot it down.
It took me three months to lose 33 pounds of pregnancy weight (course over the last month I gained three and then lost it again). I am on the verge of the golden decade (or the ten pound weight range that is my ideal) and am pretty dang happy to be here but am definitely working for another five-seven pounds- not going crazy about it though.
I fit into my clothes, but things aren't quite proportioned right yet - though that won't totally be fixed until after nursing.
I'm continuing with heartrate type exercise and will start picking up the pace by running on the treadmill which doesn't destroy my back like asphalt.

I got all my new casual clothes in one big lump of packages and I feel like a person again rather than a pregnant temp (the clothes were fun but I knew they were for a specific purpose) or a post-partum lump. Of course I do have to remind myself that I am not a lump because of course I still feel sort of lumpy - BUT the new clothes have definitely helped that.

More than anything (men look away here) I think I have finally found a nursing bra that will work well for my er body type. I have spent a ridiculous amount of money trying to find one that would work and while it wasn't a complete waste, it was frustrating. This will make a huge difference in my body image. Whoo hoo.

Okay, I'm SERIOUS

I am currently completely addicted to the two model shows - "America's Next Top Model" and "Make Me a Supermodel" though I'm inherently AGAINST letting viewers vote people out as obviously girls are just voting to keep the guys they have developed crushes on. Pfft.

But I'm serious that all I do is fast forward til the photo-shoots and then the photo reviews. SUCH amazing photos. And so interesting about the posing. Okay so I am fast forwarding less on Tyra's version which is fascinating because I couldn't STAND Tyra four days ago. I mean completely and totally... and... well I still can't stand the "three beautiful women stand before me, but only one.." (shiver shake, awful) so I still fast forward through that - but otherwise, she's growing on me.

I am jealous of all the fantasy type shoots with the crazy cool stuff - my favorite was in Spain... I'm not wanting to become this type of photographer obviously but I adore it.