Notes at the End

Just for posterity's sake... some notes about RIGHT NOW.

Right now seems to be a lot about two steps forward and one step back. Due to the fact that Jack MUST nap we have lost ground on staying in the room to put him to bed (a BIG no-no from the sleep solution information that helped so much) because Finn is now in a big boy bed and so, does not contentedly put himself right to sleep every night the moment I put him down.

Therefore, by the time it is time for Jack's bed, Finn is not asleep and yeah. I bring it up because it was such a coup to have everyone fall asleep in their beds without any fuss whatsoever and we're back to square twelve just because of the night terrors. OH how I hate night terrors.

But lets see, maybe that's only true in sleep putting down - the whole two steps forward one back thing.

Both boys are flourishing in school. Cannot tell you how adorable that is to me. Finn LOVES "Miss Miyee", Jack still does too, but he is having a GRAND OLE time with Miss Julie and his friends.

After accepting that the people there really were there to give him the very adventure he craves, Finn has embraced pre-school. When I come to pick him up he is either dancing to music, rolling on the ground singing as he giggles, or playing happily. He is SO stinkin' cute, it is hard to live with him. He looks at you with these eyes! He uses this VOICE. He says "No!" then smiles at you like "wasn't that a good joke?" then when you're serious he says "Otay" and thats that.

Steve has started this thing with Finn, when Finn gets into a whiny mood, Steve touches his own nose and Finn mimics him and it gets Finn out of the whining cycle. It's brilliant and BEYOND cute.

Finn will totally instigate fights with Jack just to get Jack to interact. Finn is much more like Abby in that he'd rather play with people than toys. But he has plenty of that boy focus to enjoy a toy for quite a long time if he happens to be into it.

Jack is just totally full to the brim with personality and passion and hilarity. He just has the strongest self that you ever did see. Which has it's moments around here, but I find myself more impressed with him than frustrated. I find myself seeing where IIII took us down a wrong road more than he did. And if I'd only remembered who I was dealing with I could have gotten what we all needed a lot faster and without a lot of struggle. This is a hard thing to explain without sounding like I am letting the tail wag the dog as Dr. Phil would say. But I did a lot of talking with Miss Milly about this, and I think I instinctively know the line I'm walking even if I can't totally describe it. Basically, I'm getting what I need to get in order to feel that I'm in charge, that I'm being respected etc, but I'm not trying to get Jack to be a different animal. He is who he is, this sailor man.

Abby is still besieged with fears, but even one visit with the therapist has shifted our direction. At least we aren't floundering around aimlessly. But beyond that she is an absolute sweet joy. She plays with the boys, she cleans her room, she talks to us, she daydreams, she sings... she doesn't care much for the scholarly portion of school, but she does what she's supposed to do. Our conversations still crack me up. She's a little me and a little Steve and just totally her own as well. I love when I see the Steve parts in her. Mostly because those parts of her give her such balance from the 150% of female everything I gave her. And also because I see their relationship as something so unique and their own. Because I really am an outsider in a way - I'm not controlling their father/daughter thing. And it's going to bless her so much in the future that she has this understanding with him. It may not bless the guys she dates - because I'm afraid Steve is going to be bitter against any guy who dares think they might have some sort of part in Abby's life. But hey, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Steve and the boys - I've just realized you know, now that the boys are not taking bottles or pacifiers or nursing - now that they are more and more independently themselves that Abby and I are overrun with men. Overrun you ask? 3:2? Look, the strength of male maleness around here is very high. We're overrun. I'm going to start planning more girly outings with Abby so we don't resent the inevitable fights over the toilet seat in the years to come.