I have noticed in parenting that when things go wrong at the wrong time (both kids melting down, one kid just fell asleep and the other starts screaming or blowing on a trumpet) we parents tend to react as if we are in the middle of a battle zone.
This is usually when one of us loses our cool and the other one basically takes the child (or ticking time bomb in this analogy) and sometimes actually yells, "Just GO, go! I'll take care of it. Save yourself! Stay Alive!!!!!"
Jack's overdeveloped motor skills are causing problems. He should not be able to sit up from a laying down position. And yet he can. And it confuses him I think when he is asleep to suddenly find himself upright.
So he sort of... freaks out, shall we say?
SO I told Steve to come in here and burp Jack as I was unable to get a burp out of him. And Steve did (hoorah!), and then tried to get Jack to STAY. Look, you have to try everything people. But as someone who had already attempted to gently suggest (per force of my hands trying to keep him in a wedge of sleeping bliss) I already knew this was not only not going to work, but going to backfire. The plain truth of the matter is any interaction during this period is just going to wake a baby up further. I like the "hypnotize child with lit up face of mom while she sits at the computer" method. Key is, mom is not directly relating to child, child feels totally secure mom is there (even if the wench is ignoring his pleas for help). Mom is calm, can even focus on something else during the ten minute window it takes for child to calm down. ANYWAY I had to use this raised voice sort of whisper to tell Steve to never mind, leave me here, save yourself.
And it reminded me a movie. Because then of course he whispers heatedly back something either to the effect that, "No, this has to work!" or "Are you sure?! I can't leave you behind!" And then I push him lovingly on the rump to emphasize that I do in fact mean it.
So Jack stared at the lighty uppity music/monkey thing for a while which was rather hilarious becuase he is still sitting up, still half asleep. I'm not supposed to look at him and sure enough everytime I weakened and glanced at him, he glanced right back - super eye skills. SO anyway I'm sitting here, the lighty uppity thing has run out of music and it's just sleeping Abby, not so much sleeping Jack and me and sure enough Jack lets out this huge burp and will probably be asleep forthwith.
I am working on this theory that despite all the success and psychology behind the different parenting books out there - in the end the baby is almost always right. It's a little pathetic really. But just like I used to laugh patronizingly (I didn't MEAN to be patronizing) at Abby when she was two and saying "Cow" to the bird poster and then sure enough two feet to the right of the bird poster is a big ole' cow that I hadn't seen... I get the feeling like Jack always does know what is best - he just can't tell me very easily.
For example he'll throw himself back in my arms and I, with a smug smile on my face, put him directly down every time he does that because Abby used to do that and stopped once it meant she couldn't be held anymore. Well wouldn't you know it - JACK actually intends for me to put him down when he does that and promptly falls asleep.
And, like I said, the shrill cry he was giving us sure sounded like a "I need to burp" cry, but did I believe him? No, I just thought he was being difficult.
Granted he's not asleep just yet. But now its just tired "I'm being difficult" crying, which is a lot easier to hear.
120: Yellow
3 months ago
3 comments:
What amazes me is how early they can let their wishes be known. Ben is 6 weeks old as of yesterday, and already he will throw himself to the side when he wants to lay down in my arms, as opposed to being held curled against my chest. When he does that, I lay him over, and he goes right to (or back to) sleep. And he's been doing it for 2 or 3 weeks now.
Also, I'm figuring out that he's generally fussy for a reason, which is good, since for a while I thought maybe he was getting colicky. He *does* fight sleep, which is a bummer and hopefully something he'll grow out of, so sometimes that's where the fussiness comes from.
But often when he's fussing after eating, he'll end up either letting out a huge burp, passing gas in a big way, or spitting up. In fact, it usually ends up being a spit-up situation, so I think his little tummy doesn't feel good and, hence, the fussiness.
It's nice when you can actually figure out a reason for things. Some sort of logic, since so much of this baby thing seems like "Uh, let's throw 15 things at the wall and see what sticks."
Hey, this is something I should probably post on our blog.
Oh I think its incredible how early they have these opinions and preferences and just very obvious ways of communicating them.
I think the wonderful thing is the second time around I do tend to trust Jack more that he knows what he needs and so when he refuses something I don't really have to talk myself out of believing him which is what I used to do with Abby.
EXCEPT when he's sleepy - thats obvious too because he refuses everything.
OK .. that proves it .. mothers have embodied within them dark and dazzling powers of observation that were inherited from an accidental Venusian landing thousands of years ago, never really intending to be past down thru the ages. And babies, you see, are quite accustomed to being around ancient universes so they speak the same mysterious language as mama does. They lose it in a couple of years and start speaking in symbols like the rest of us, but until then there's just an ether connecting them to whoever is around who happens to also speak ether - like parents, of course, and grammas and maybe poppas.
Jeck is an old soul who is very clear and simple about what he wants. No need to try to second guess him. He's a boy. When he says "Put me down, now." with a lurch to the carpet surface, that's all he means. Baby Abby on the other hand took the same lurching and suggested "Ok how can we turn this into a new and deeper experiment in emotionality?"
I missed my babies for a long time until my grandkids came along and I could finally speak Venus again with Abby and now Martian with Jack. What fun.
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