The Straw

There have been times since I have become a parent in which I have watched my sanity teeter on the brink of total collapse. It happened once when I did not have my ticket for the real Thomas the Train ride and Abby had been so excited she would have lost it in a real and true heartbreaking way if we'd missed it. It happened once when it had taken an agonizing hour to get an exhausted Abby down for her nap and a realtor had walked in and then when I finally was about two minutes from getting her down again the pet police knocked on the door - and I almost didn't open it - but geez, its the POLICE I thought... AWAKE went Abby. It's happened at night when the itches or the coughs or a nightmare has woken up Abby the moment I thought I could sleep after not sleeping for a month while pregnant.

And then it happened today.

The exterminator was coming to pick up the 4 poor murdered rats, I had been doing laundry like a mad woman, I had gone to a meeting at the school, picked up Abby from the park and and... okay it wasn't the sort of day that should have pushed me to the brink, but I'm guessing the lack of sleep has something to do with it.

So I had gotten to go (all by myself) to Target last night and I got one of those musical soothing thingees that hang on cribs... Jack's friend Gus had one and Jack seemed taken with it. I looked at it briefly last night before deciding I would dismantle it's protective box sometime today when my wits were about me.

I decided to tackle it after we'd finally gotten home - Abby was still in only her underwear after a bubble spill incident at the park and then a tantrum by the girl who's grandma had lent Abby a new shirt (which the girl did not want Abby to leave in). Jack had been exhausted several times during the day but we'd not been in one place long enough for him to really sleep and he'd fallen asleep in the carseat. Since Jack is such a good sleeper I thought I'd be brave and move him into his bed for a nice long rest rather than risk him getting just plain annoyed to be in the seat. Bad idea. So by the time I was tackling the soother's cardboard tomb Jack had been screaming in both the crib and his swing (eventually he just sat annoyed but awake in the swing - he really is a sweetheart).

So I was thinking, okay, kid, I have the ultimate secret weapon in this soother. I am going to get it ready to go and boom, you're going to be OUT like a light or at least happy as a clam.

SO I take it out of the box and turn it over to find where it's bondages were. There is a weird white cardboard card with scissors on it and arrows pointing toward plastic straps and another weird arrow pointing to the ceiling and in perforated dots it says "cut straps."

I think, but it looks like there is a way to get them off, but oh well, I won't make my life more complicated by struggling with these straps that obviously must need cutting for them to make such a big stink about it.

So I cut them. And immediately realize - wait that can't be right. I pull up the white cardboard and sure enough, underneath it says "Do Not"... putting it all together people, it said "Do Not Cut Straps"

They are of course the straps that strap the stupid thing onto the crib, which if I had a tenth of my brain capacity working, I would have realized without even looking at the cryptic cardboard.

I almost... and I mean this very literally... chucked it at our front window, then I imagined picking it up and chucking it off the balcony... then I imagined stomping on it a few times, screaming in frustration and dissolving into tears.

Target was going to be a pain - even if explaining WHY the whole thing was so awful to them worked, its the whole idea of having to either take the kids or get free time to do it ALL OVER AGAIN and YES right now a trip to Target is like a trip to Zanzibar.

But ahhh, my customer service cells start firing and I start thinking...oooo I bet there is a phone number on this box.

And sure enough "Rachel" from Fisher-Price did not bat an eye-lash. She very nicely and calmly sent me a return label (via e-mail no less) to send the straps to them and they will ship new straps to me. The only problem she had was trying to find the canned description in her computer to explain why I needed new straps. Time intensive? Perhaps, but the point is someone understood, someone helped, someone made it so I didn't have to leave the house.

I did not realize until I was literally talking to her that the scissors had a circle around it and a line through it. Note the straps were holding the white cardboard card down, obscuring completely the "do not".


Hazel sent me this link about sleep and lack there of: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/03/14/60minutes/main3939721.shtml