The Happy Project

With all the men vs women group studies we've been doing, I decided to see how it would affect my household if I strived to be in a basically good mood when at all possible.

I've certainly wished over the years that Steve would come home happy because it cast such a pall over the entire night when he used to... not. I would feel that it was up to me every night to buoy up his mood.

And I realized that after a while I had become resentful that his mood was going to need bolstering so I started starting the evening in cruddy spirits. So that, even when he was in a happy mood, I brought him down.

There were multiple (and still are) times when neither of us intends to give off an unhappy or dissatisfied air but simply by not being specifically positive it can feel negative to the other person.

So... that's the project. I have to say it was a lot easier the first two days since I'd just come off of a weekend where I'd had a lot of 'me' time.

And it's already exponentially more difficult today since Abby was up periodically from 3-5am this morning - which ended up fine considering I couldn't get back to sleep. And when I finally did - she woke up for good at 6am. (there will be a nap today even if it takes three hours to make it happen)

So... it's not about being inauthentic. It's about making the effort to find my happy.

Of course, today it might just be about not eviscerating anyone who crosses my path.