Saturday, May 31, 2008

So... right...

Doing well on the halting of the dessert binge. That's good.

Nursing is going well, though that is good and bad. I had sort of gotten excited about being free... not weaning so much... just being free. Classic eat your cake and have it too. Hmm. I want cake... Anyway, point being, weaning in and of itself is emotionally a little sad. Being free from breastfeeding isn't sad at all - it's 'let's go have a round at the bar even though I don't like alcohol' free.

Still... don't have much to say.

I really think that whatever hormones are common to the pill, pregnancy, and nursing stick me with a shorter temper and decreased drive to function in life... plus they add in some paranoia. I didn't totally recognize the feeling of... whatever this is... call it hormones or baby blues or whatever... until I was half in/half out of nursing. And as soon as things settled back to normal I felt that veil settle back over me... it's like theres this just slightly fuzzy film over my perception... like I can't quite find me until it's gone. I only see it when its new... otherwise all these just slightly overblown feelings seem perfectly natural and make total sense.

Oh well. Luckily no one seems to notice the increase in "crazy" except my mother... or... well... perhaps you're just not mentioning it. Either way, at the most its another nine months of this... then free and clear. And if Jack takes to solid food, it will be quite a bit less. So, its not so bad. With Gramma close, I can almost fight enough against it to do a consistent job on dishes... that's something.

I could almost pass as myself I think. Just with less to say.

6 comments:

Creative Mama said...

:) love hearing your process ... crazy lady... ;)

James Lamb / tvjames said...

What about sleep deprivation? That's a good demotivator.

James Lamb / tvjames said...

Hmm... need to update that photo. He's not an ultrasound anymore.

Ada said...

D'OH good point James. I was thinking as I was writing my symptoms that sleep deprivation sure would explain any of them as well... but then, being sleep deprived, forgot to mention the thought.

Dave said...

Your "increase in crazy" is like driving and hitting a bump in the road. You know it is there, and there will be plenty more of them to come, but really - why mention it?

Ada said...

I'm *so* sending "bad sleep" vibes your way every time Jack wakes up tonight.