The Problem is the Intermittant Screaming

This is what Steve said to me at about 3am the night before last.

And yes, I'd have to agree... that is indeed the problem we are facing. Considering Jack would only sleep for about five minutes (not quite long enough for us to catch a catnap) at a time that night, I consider this statement of the problem rather brilliant. I'm impressed he could put two words together at all.

However... the problem has now been solved.

Jack, you see, only does this with me.

SO now it is Steve's duty to get up if Jack awakes during a non-feeding time. It happened twice I think last night as opposed to the forty times the night before. And Steve had him settled back down within three minutes... or at least thats what it seemed like to me who got to literally push Steve toward the door and then go back to sleep.

Nice.

I haven't asked yet to verify that because Steve is still asleep.

BUT, do not judge me too harshly- taking a page out of Steve's book, I have taken over the morning shift and my mom may not believe this, but I got up cheerfully... after all I got ... like... multiple hours of sleep last night for the first time in four days.

I still haven't found Jack a shirt, but I'm one happy camper. (well with this... there are other issues to be discussed)

Can You Say...

too many to choose from?

Anna came over (with her mother)
And we had a very nice time
rushing around
trying to name everything
from water
to babies
to milk
to telephones.

Jen had outfit changes...
how incredibly fun are outfit changes?
VERY fun, in case you were wondering.

First Weekly(?) Family Park Day

Well, I didn't think it was going to work. The heat and the air quality alone did not bode well for the plan. (when there were fires when Abby was born I didn't leave the house for three months with her - the news said not to people!).

BUT Auntie Samantha was (dare I say it?) right. It was nice to get out with everyone and it actually be "out" and not waiting anxiously for a table (though we did that too - note to self - let's eliminate that part for the next one) and not worried that one of the kids was going to knock over a vase or hit their head on the table (there was the kidnapping fear and the hitting one's head on a rock fear of course).

It was nice. Let's do it again. But, much as lunch was nice too, the whole thing would have been anxiety free without the wait and the not so into it server. Note to Islands: Your server is not supposed to answer the question "Do you have x?" with "You know, I really have no idea." (everyone waits for "I'll find out" but it doesn't come).

Dinner Impressions

The reason I need to get over my anxiety about going out
Is because if I don't, I miss nights like these.




After church we went to church with Chris & Maggie & kids at Camille's at Paseo (very good - no crowd -zilch - but... well, they had run out of rice and lettuce...). We roped in Gramma because... well... we like her and we were driving.

The girls were instantly drawn to a singer in the main courtyard of Paseo and drifted back and forth between watching, eating back at the restaurant, dancing to the music, drinking their waters, and just generally enjoying the 80 degree night.

There's always something a little special feeling about warm, clear nights... (My favorite are warm windy nights) And the singer was a soft-spoken folksy kind of lady and the crowd gathered was a quiet cool sort of one, so I didn't want to use a flash, but I did want to document the moment in a quiet, soft sort of way.

And once I started with the blurs, I just wanted to get a bunch - and without the flash or the need for perfection, I wasn't bothering anyone.

Momentum...

You may be getting burnt out by the pictures on burnt fudge... but I'm sure there will be a lull here soon... I am loving it though - so if I continue to have willing models (or moms that lend me willing models)... you'll just have to visit at your own pace!

I love that I'm mourning that there are too many pictures "good enough" to share here. The moms, of course, get a truck load full even more than you guys!

No Location, Locations

The photographer's suggestion of practicing with a doll is especially helpful when scoping out locations - helps with composition and lighting. So I went around the house with "Bearbear" and it really was helpful

Hair Cuts and Gus

Dr Phil Excercise

If you ever go on the Dr. Phil show, he will ask you to list these things prior to filming (or so he said on today's episode):

10 defining moments, seven critical choices and five pivotal people.

And I thought. Hmm.

In No Particular Order

10 defining moments:

• Waiting during Aaron's surgery/seeing Mom hear news of 2nd
  
• GATE art class in jr. high
  
• Dad talk
• Waking up in this house and feeling home and HAPPY
  
• Finding out that, in fact, the boy did not like me (not steve boy)
  
• Having face burned over by chemical peel
  
• First night as leadership of Youth Group/ folding in
  
• Undue Shame after hospital thought I was lying (13yrs.old)
  
• Abby's birth/truly overwhelming love
• Eating Chicken Fajitas Steve made (i.e. letting go of the absolute that I wouldn't like anything new)
  

7 Critical Choices:

• Choosing Christ/ life as Christian (because- obvious)
• Not forcing 4 year college/going to Moorpark (because - humbling, set me up to have time in college to major in art-to have had that year of separation almost from the normal stream of things)
• Westmont/majoring in art (freed me... not sure how... just did)
• Saying yes to that first date (wasn't going to, you know)
• Being Happy even when things got tough (marriage, parenting, sickness, stress)
• Being part of Agape (pushing passed comfort zone)
• Moving to Pasadena (such a leap of faith -could have been humiliating/isolation which in turn gave me independence of sorts)
  

5 pivotal people (immediate family is a given):

• Steve (constantly, always pushes me to go beyond comfort, to question everything and reminds me I actually do not know EVERYthing and oh yes, if I take a moment to notice, I'm quite loved)
  
• Mr. Nubling (completely confirmed that yes, actually I was special and brilliant - was plain irreplaceable and, oh, by the way, agreed that reading was, in fact, glorious above all)
• Hazel (authenticity - humbling to be around someone I think is *so* cool yet who I will never be more like because we are *so* different and who I actually just trust implicitly)
  
• Jen W/P (completely woke me up to figure out who I was... helped define who I actually was outside of my imaginary world- I just plain wouldn't have ended up me without her)
• June D (*as a sisterly figure* She was all girl and all vulnerability)
  

More for Jen's Portfolio

Early Maternity

Sorry, Beth, but I think you look great... even though it is just a hint of that new baby and you're half way through. I promise to take it down in a few days.

Messing with Flowers

Auntie Annie

The first time Annie met Abby, my dad prepared Annie that Abby was (at the time) very shy and not known for taking to new people.

But Abby (who I think had (has?) a natural instinct for who needs special attention at any given time) loved her from the first moment they met. Of course, how could a child not adore an adult that spent an hour vehemently "catching" bubbles in the living room?


The largest portion of both of my parent's families reside back East. Annie made the trip for my wedding and Aaron's wedding when it wasn't always easy. And she made us feel like it was an honor for us to welcome her.



She got to meet and adore both Abby and Jack. And OH! How she adored them.

She was a little silly, my Aunt Annie, a little on the nutty side and I feel like I might be the very silly, nutty Aunt to my family...

And she just left us. Just now...


I feel sad. And lessened.

Hitting the Wall

Staring, unfocused, eyes hurt, hair may as well have been done by rabid wolves, back strained, head heavy, kids asleep... so why aren't I?

The Struggle

I have is that the photography I like so much right now is really commercial - so the kids are important but there is definitely a focus on the clothes... So ... right. Wanting it all is all.