Tomorrow is another Day

I am home from Idaho and it feels like I'm coming back from a month long sojourn. Yup, I broke out the word sojourn. Trip wasn't adequate. Like I sort of feel like I have to ease off a mountain top experience and yet - it wasn't particularly momentous.

I didn't end up getting much sleep even though Chelsea and I actually got a bedroom to ourselves (we were initially meant to huddle on a hide-a-way bed). The first night we went to bed pretty late and the second it ended up being odd sharing a bed because I went to sleep earlier. I dunno.

My mind seemed very very occupied. I couldn't rest well.

But there wasn't any negative to the trip - I felt very at home - very much part of the family.

I suppose that may be where the melancholy at leaving it behind comes from. It feels very much like they've accepted me as a sister-in-law in the family and yet I probably won't see these people again. Maybe once or twice in a lifetime? I mean, maybe it would be more likely if I was single or if Steve's family wasn't so close. So then I dunno - I just started feeling gray about the whole thing. Like I belonged with them and yet I won't get to.

It felt very emotional that the little family I grew up with is now complete. At least with adults. I didn't believe it could be completed so well, but there it is. God just doing what God does - being miraculous.

So for all these reasons I ended up walking out of the Sun Valley Airport feeling very small and very much at a loss. Like, it was back to real life. A real life I missed (not having Steve on the trip was difficult - not having Abby made me ache at times but not having both made it easy - ha! how's that for an oxymoron?) and a family to get back to.

No resolution. I wrote a very little on the plane trip and read two novels and paid attention to how these authors write their 'he said, she said' sentences.

I think I have my opening line. Or something near.

So here we go. It's time to get my head back in the game. So, I'm pushing aside the dream world of the trip that is already fading away on it's own and picking up the fantasy world of my book again... just not tonight.

p.s. for those of you curious to know if I used my trusty flexible gross finger trick, I'm sorry to say I did. I just can't seem to be prouder of any other accomplishment in my life as I am of my distended thumb. I think it's because it gets the biggest reaction of any!

p.s.2. Also there was a little guilt factor that I haven't given Abby a sibling. I watch Megan and her siblings interact and it feels like a lot of pain on the part of the parent - i.e. juggling babies - ends up very rewarding for the kids.