Unfair

I spent an hour upstairs watching tv all by myself today. It's not like I can't take time like this, but especially on weekends that Steve is home, I'd just as well sit here and watch him wrestle all kids at once so that I can see their faces all flushed rather than just hearing the joyful battle yells (yes even Finn has a battle cry) from afar.

So I'm upstairs in our bedroom.  I feel good, refreshed to have had a little silence, a little mindless reflection.  I'm on my way downstairs and Jack is upstairs in the living room - spots me and runs to me as if he hasn't seen me in ages.  I notice right away he needs a change, so I bring him downstairs to take care of him.

I lie him down and he looks sad.  And he says, with no whine in his voice - just a sad, quiet tone: "Momma, I lost you."
"You lost me?"
"I sad, Jack sad.  I sitting in the chair ...[couldn't] found you."
I repeated it back to him so he knew I understood and assured him I wasn't hiding from him on purpose, told him where I was and gave him a hug.
So he'd been up there a while I guess, just sitting, assuming me gone.
It was SO. SAD.

Not as if he was traumatized, I did have to ASK for the hug before he ran off to play.  But it was the TONE OF VOICE. 

Completely unfair. Parenting... once again, not for wimps.