Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Control? Or Anxiety? Or just plain Weird.

In my so far small experience with therapy, I've been trying to pay attention more to the root of any problems - most often anxiety - that I have.

Today I have been just very agitated ... but the root feeling is anxiety. Why?

Because Abby has Grandparent's Day at school today. (I didn't try to get you a ticket Dad, just cuz you're out of the area - depending on what it was like we'll get you in next year). David, MarySue and Gramma went. It's the WHOLE half of their school day.

Why does that make me anxious? I have no idea.

But of course I can't just stop there, now can I?

My first guess is because I don't know what it's like or what is going on.

I think I try to take care of everyone - from the Grandparents (is this a waste of their time, will they be taken care of? Will they know where to park, where to go what to do or anything like that) to Abby (have I equipped her as best I could- will she know what to do or where to go).

This all sounds like I think they are all children and the people they will be around are horrible or something. That's not what I think at all. Do I just not trust other people to take care of MY people? Or is it more about control - i.e. IIIII want to do it? I didn't figure it out, just tried to let go of the silliness. You all can take care of yourselves I know. Even my babies.

I dunno.

Everything felt better once my mom called.

Sheesh.

1 comment:

Lori said...

I get that way, too. For me, I think it's because I feel responsible for people enjoying themselves if I've invited them. It's the need to be a good hostess, even when it's not something I personally am hosting. So I'm anxious to make sure all goes well and they enjoy their experience and don't feel it was time wasted or something that was badly done.