Calm My Anxious Heart: 1

What has struck me so far:

• "God... is the blessed controller of all things the king over all kings and the master of all masters (1Timothy 6:15)" [didn't notice those dots before... see? topic studies tend to leave out what doesn't apply... oh well, whatever it really says, it probably doesn't dull the point I got from it]

Basically she used this verse to illustrate how silly it is to take on the worrying and doubting mantle when I profess that I both believe that God IS all this authority and that I have chosen to Him to be Lord of my life and heart.

For example, I often doubt decisions Steve and I make especially if I have no idea what to do and I secretly don't think Steve knows either. I want to stop that because God gave me Steve as a partner and gosh darn it, I believe it was a pretty awesome gift - so, right or wrong, whatever we choose together is going to just get us further along in our lives... we'll learn from mistakes and feel proud in our successes... and, knowing us as I do, we won't beat ourselves up too long with the wrongs and somehow they will become witty dinner banter eventually.

• The author's friend's missionary mom's prescription for contentment:

Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather (oh hey, I don't so much agree with that one, but I think it would be a good idea to lessen the complaining I currently do. I agree that it can become all you can see if you allow it too much freedom from your lips or thoughts, I agree that to speak it is to focus on it, and I think it is exceptionally refreshing to take a 'complaining break' where you go through an entire day and thank God for everything that crosses your path on that given day - good or bad)

Never picture yourself in any other circumstance or someplace else (except, I can envision how I want to better myself or my situation - not like become a rock star, but implement a laundry strategy and do it)

Never compare your lot with another's (hard, but totally agree - as I was talking to Beth today it's so obvious in baby-rearing that the one thing that drives you batty as a mom is the thing the mom next door most wants their baby to do... never compare)

Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise (I don't do this TOO much except when we're talking about lemon cars or outdoor playhouses with no roof... er hmm... am I complaining again?)

Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours (well, hey, it's mine too - given from God - but this affected me very much because with a baby/child it is SO hard to stay focused on today - we're always looking to the next stage, the next weigh in, the next fear, the next school and we completely miss how they are right NOW. I have two beautifully wonderfully amazing children and it would be so lovely to just enjoy them - hey even the discipline can be fun sometimes. When I took Abby to her room yesterday she's allowed to come out when she's "ready to stop asking the same question over and over and over". She came out happy as a clam with her purse on her hip making some joke about her teddy bear. And even if it's not fun, even if it's awful... its the NOW. It's still a window into who these kids are and how my family if faring.)

• Just a quote"Two women looked through prison bars. One saw mud. One saw stars."

Not only would I like to pay more attention to the stars than the mud, I would like to model that for my kids.

• "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Phil 4:6)

I've heard the verse plenty. What struck me was her application that this was "our part" of the deal... Us, doing our part, is to channel the anxiety away from the road it normally runs rampant on into prayer - give it over to that God of authority, that King of Kings. Don't ignore the fears and desires - but don't hang onto them either - give them, in prayer and petition to God. Plead for it, but don't sit there and stew in it.

• "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things"

Another verse I've heard a lot - usually in reference to keeping away from things that cause sin or are against God in some other way. Her reference was tied to the "our part" portion where, if something causes me fear or anxiety or extreme sadness to think on I should first pray - give it over to God i.e. burden the Almighty with it, know and have comfort that He cares, that He keeps it no matter what happens - and THEN turn my mind away from it to something noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.

This makes me think that in this world that is fallen - God isn't exactly happy and thrilled with the pain and suffering happening all over the place. So I picture Him taking our sadness or fear and saying, "I know, I know, give it to me, I'll take care of it. I'm the only one that can. Now I have it, you don't need to carry it." And then I picture He'd want us to focus instead on something that He created that is good... some piece of nature that inspires us, some gift or miracle we've experienced from Him... Look at the stars instead of the mud.

(her application was worrying about her children - she would pray and then, if the anxiety kept coming back she'd force herself to write a list of everything that had gone well with her children in that year and it would unlock the anxiety and she could rest)