But Most of All

You would never forgive me if you knew how many incredibly sweet or hilarious or brilliant things Abby said on any given day that I didn't report... or often don't even remember past the hour.

She just came upstairs dragging two dolls in matching Gramma made dresses and a bag full of books that she wrote and illustrated and put together herself. I asked her how she was. She lamented that there had been a two tv show limit and that Daddy was watching his show now...

"But most of all, my eyes are leaking tears"



Then she asked if she could read me her book:
Mr. O had some o's for breakfast, they weren't O's but they were meant to dance.
(pause as the story changes)
This is an O, and he had some friends, but they never danced.
one, two three, there was two guys in a black shirt
one two three four five six seven eight nine ten, that's the end.


A couple weeks ago Jack was cranky and tired and finally quieted down with a bottle. Abby stroked his arm sadly and told me, "Poor baby guy, he'll never be the same..."


Miss Milly (the two year old's teacher) at Abby's school told me that she had been amongst a group of two year olds when Miss Milly had to explain that one of the fish in the fishtank had died. Abby put an arm on one of the youngsters and bowed her head, "We did all we could do." Miss Milly hears a lot of cute things and probably would not have reported this to me if she hadn't then heard the intent two year olds present solemnly repeating this phrase to other students all around the school.

Back in Hawaii, there are certain things that even when you have the coolest in-laws in the world, that are more difficult when traveling with one's kids AND this said whole family than just your own. There are just certain things that normally we wouldn't care if Abby did that needed more regulation out of consideration of others. There was one thing in particular that Abby just kept doing and I knew it was driving her crazy to have me stop her each and every time and I didn't really blame her, it was obvious that she wasn't intending this, and it was also obviously really hard for her to remember not to do. So finally I think she told me she didn't like it when I said "x" and I looked at her a second... then said, okay, but I can't just let you do that - so how about we have a secret signal, and when you see me touch my nose that means you forgot not to do this and you'll remember because of the secret signal. She readily accepted and we turned something that was on a collision course of frustration and fighting into an inside partnership.

BUT don't think I'm gloating. My girl, you see if very very smart. It worked once right? So, it just stands to reason she should take advantage of such a success and see if it worked in other areas of her life.

Two weeks ago Steve had a ton of obligations - to the point that he was absent for bedtime 5 nights out of 7. He made up for this with the kids and with me plenty throughout the week by being home for chunks of time in the middle of the day or whatever. All the same it is definitely more frustrating putting the kids to sleep without him here than it is when he is here. SO on this particular week I was already up to "here" with Abby's "Can I just tell you one more thing?" routine at bedtime.

SO, knowing I was up to "here" and it wasn't Abby's fault I was already up to "here" I took a very deep breath and sat down on Abby's bed while I read a little from my book and she read a little from her book. Sure enough she said "Can I just tell you one more thing?" And I, as always, said, "JUST ONE." And she kind of squinted her eyes and rubbed her hands against her face and she said, "There are TWO things I don't like that you say. "JUST ONE" and "LAY DOWN." (said in a stern voice, I don't yell at her)

I, too, am pretty smart, and I too recognized the success we'd had in Hawaii might indeed be repeated here at home. So, I readily ask, "Okay, then what do you think I should say when it's time to go to sleep and you still want to talk?"

Abby put her finger under her chin and replied solemnly, and thoughfully, "I think you should say, okay, I'll cuddle with you all night in your bed."

Hmm. Somehow, this wasn't working quite as well as it had.

I said, "Ummm, well, I would love to be able to say that, but this is your bed and I have my bed and I can't stay in your bed all night and you can't stay in mine. Maybe you'd be okay if I just said it nicer and gentler."

And she agreed, "Yes, okay, you could say 'would it be okay if you lied down now?'"

Ha. Good try. Anyone who's heart just bled and nodded at her suggestion, you're a softy and you will eventually fall at the hands of Empress Abby.

I said, "I promise to let you know that you can only say one more thing nicer. But I still might have to tell you to 'lay down' now and then."

Today she started taking off her clothes. I asked her why. She said, "I'm getting my nightgown back on because pretend it's my relaxation suit and my other dresses are in my room."