At this Point

I'm just embarrassed to pray at this point about sleep anymore.

I felt (still feel) pretty thankful for the insights I've gained and the huge strides we've all made as a family this last couple of weeks.

But now we're established, things are happening that just don't fit as easily in the boxes that have solutions as at first.

I feel like some sort of idiot with cotton in my ears and blinders at my eyes and no map. Not because the sleep is disintegrating but because I know that God is responsive and I'm just not getting any signal. Retune the rabbit ears I guess.

My kids are not sick. Not even a little. They haven't been for at least two months - that's like a marathon of non-sickness for kids. But still, the pain or enduring that they are going thru cuts me as if they were. I'd love to cave to Jack's tearful request to come into Mommy & Daddy's bed - especially after the other two kids got moved in there to escape the tantrum going on. But it would establish a pattern and to be perfectly honest, Jack my boy, I can't sleep anymore with you in the bed. He is too fitful, I am too fearful of disturbing him and tickling that insane "up in a flash" part of your brain. So NO babydoll, I have to say.

And it worked because, the ironic thing about parenting is that if you say it like you mean it and follow thru kid's think you're made of iron. In truth, I'm always SHOCKED when I assert my authority and it works.

Props to God for getting us here-for knowing more than us- for wherever he'll take us in the now and the future -but please, Oh please, Dear God, bless us again- make everyone sleep safely and soundly.