Where Am I at 2am?

Okay - thats not a Les Mis lyric. But I figure maybe I'll do "how am i" "what am i" "why am i" to round out a series.

So to continue onto the idea that it is difficult to grasp oneSELF when one is in such a crowded time of life, I'm now at the point of trying to get my bearings. Slowly, slowly routines are being established, things are being re-organized... (Have I mentioned how the SunnyOaks house was just finally totally and completely upkeepable by me RIGHT before we started getting ready to sell it - one of God's (or Steve's) little ironies in my life as it will be years before we're there here).

Anyway, so now that things are sort of finding their place, and I mean that in all the fascinatingly deep and totally surfacey ways it could be meant, now I'm trying to get my bearings. Right, I know. I said that already. But see theres a lot of that right now. Going in circles.

Before I was so overwhelmed that I may have had time to do the dishes, but I didn't have the mental capacities. Now, I may not always choose the organization route, but at least now I'm starting to notice when I step OVER something instead of grabbing it as I pass and dumping it where it belongs.

Would you believe part of what has thrown me for a tailspin was the fear that Finn was allergic to Cheerios somehow thru my milk? Probably not possible, but I've been avoiding them for a couple months and they were my staple "inexpensive - not horribly fattening - but totally fulfilling" lunch. Food that was once available becoming not available always throws me for loops.

By the way - though everyone is sleeping better - last night was the exception because Abby hurt her wrist (jumping off the bed onto a stack of pillows) and woke up everytime she accidentally bumped it (we think). Jack woke up once and Finn was wanting comfort and distraction from teething. Anyway, I checked the time once while leading Jack back to bed, presuming it was about 5 am and that the night was over.

It was 2am. And was I relieved because there was still so much time for sleep? No. I was appalled. Because I knew the night was NOT going to get better and I just wanted it to be over. I do NOT mean that in any deep philosophical way ;).

Abby woke up with, "That was the worst night of rest ever." Sadly, little does she know - it doesn't hold a candle to some of the nights we've had as parents.