2006 - The year I lost my pants...

Yes, I know that title is inappropriate - but it's True! 2006 began with the family cruise to Mexico for which I had meticulously packed and my suitcase was left in the garage of our home. I blame Steve for this which he enthusiastically denies. But what happened was that he was very pissy about either wanting to leave or not wanting to leave - or a misunderstanding about whether his parents were meeting us at our house or we were meeting them at their's. And so he was kicking bags and basically I was very close to being very pissed off at him for this attitude so I tried to be helpful rather than resentful and moved ALL the bags out into the garage as he was picking them up. I accept that I should have done a doubletake, just to be sure - but I believe that he was so upset I basically just went with the flow rather than be my stressy normal self. At the end of the day, it was bad luck and both of our faults... and that basically ended up being 2006 in a nutshell.

We had some bad luck with the house and made some bad decisions in response. The frustrating old windows for example - we still don't have air/heat and so, one very very hot night we needed Abby's window open and it was stuck (bad luck). I didn't want to deal with it because there was a web/spider/gook/dark night and I'd just watched some horror film- so I went cowardly (bad decision - my fault). I ask Steve to come do it for me - he swears at the window, gives it a good bang right in the wrong place and puts his fist through the glass pane (bad decision- his fault).

To expand on the illustration - after realizing my clothes were really not on the ship, I pretended to have a good attitude but basically was inconsolable for most of the trip... on edge, frustrated, bitter, riding on a pity party. Steve did quite a bit behind the scenes to try to make things better for me, but told me right away something to the effect that if I let it ruin the cruise he was ashamed of me. Fair enough - particularly in light of the fact that he was seeing me be inconsolable... but didn't exactly bring us closer.

Similarly, we both know we can't let stress ruin a year, our family, or Abby's emotional well being so we've been alternating between the two of us who is giving themselves pity parties and who is slapping them in the face and saying, "Snap out of it." And yet I don't think either of us made the other feel enough that we appreciated and supported each other.

There were good times on the Cruise. There were good times in 2006.

But this time next year, I want to look back on what I wrote in review and not feel like all I've done is whine. I think that is the crux of the matter. I look back on 2006 and I am not happy with how selfish my outlook was - or how long it took me to force myself into a good attitude. I'm also frustrated with how often Steve and I weren't on the same page. It wasn't like we fought that much - we just weren't on the same side. I blamed him for things that I should have been his support for instead.

Onward and Upward, though... it's a good time to start over. Better.

P.S. it's not bad taste for Dave to make a joke in the comments - I set him up for it with my title and would be pretty disappointed if he didn't say something brilliantly funny... no pressure though. Besides, this is all going to read a lot more serious than I feel it is.