The Perfect Day

(without Steve anyway... )

Being a stay at home mom means that in a lot of ways my days are on an endless loop. The same basic things happen every day. Change does happen, usually in such slow motion that by the time a behavior or problem is resolved I've forgotten it needed resolving. It often seems as if a child has just woken up that morning with a whole new behavior, as if someone just magically flipped a switch; when actually its like we're in a constant state of "under construction". Before the switch could be flipped the wall had to be framed, the wires run, the wall boarded, the electricity hooked up, the switch connected, the little plastic plate screwed in...

This is why it's so frustrating when trying to explain to someone how excited I am that some subtle but vital change has been embraced. Like for instance, let's say rather than holding my hand after a nightmare, I insist that the child lets ME hold THEiR hand. Silly sounding huh? But those of you who know KNOW that its an important difference. It's the difference between having to pry your own hand out from the tenuously sleeping death grip of your child and simply gently letting your own grip loosen, then letting go entirely. Just trust me. It's a big and important milestone. Yet the person inevitably asks, well, why didn't you do that in the first place? Because, I explain, trying not to sound crazy or defensive: it wouldn't have worked before. It wouldn't have worked the night before or even a few hours before. Of course I could have insisted from the beginning but it would have been a battle against each other rather than a victory for both. Because I waited we were both ready.

Anyway, while "under construction" so many little interactions during those very similar days feel like the luck of the draw. I can have the exact same rules, enforce them in the same exact way and have drastic differences in the reaction of my kids.

Today, it just seemed like 7 out of 10 of those rolls of the dice were lucky.

Extracting Jack from beloved Gramma's presence was sad, and there was some screaming. But I threw out my arms to welcome in for some condolence and where 100% of the times previous he would have thrown himself on the ground, wanting nothing of my comfort, he hesitated, then walked right into my arms. From there he allowed distraction in the form of Phineas & Ferb.

Abby & Jack wrestled and played for a long time. Several times Jack was a bit too rough with Abby, but she handled it and so I could concentrate on nursing Finn, cleaning a little, making lunch.

Everyone ate, including Finn.

Jack and Abby were having too much fun, so I postponed Jack's nap by a few minutes; just enough time to get Finn sound asleep and down so that when I was putting Jack down, I didn't have to worry about what Finn was up to or if he was going to panic without parental presence.

Finn STAYED asleep after Jack was asleep (Finn's diaper rash has meant more fitful sleep - will probably have to call doc on Monday to see if we need prescription).

Abby and I cuddled on the couch while watching tv - SUCH a long time since she's gotten that sort of relaxed presence from us at a time that shes happened to be in the mood to veg as well.

I fell ASLEEP for at least two episodes. Amazingly necessary.

Jack stayed asleep for long enough that Finn was established in his oatmeal bath before Jack woke up.

Jack and Abby played happily while I let Finn air out and played "words with friends"

I got everyone dressed for church including myself (my hair was a mess, but I knew I'd be stuck in the nursery anyway).

Jack played in the nursery (with me there) with an older boy and a younger boy - there was very little screaming. After a while Jack realized the older boy could teach him some subtleties of one of the car racing toys, so he started paying attention. Granted there were stints in there where Jack was dragging me to the door to go to the car, but distraction worked where it hadn't worked last week. Finn fell fast asleep in one of the nursery worker's arms.

I didn't overeat or over spend at dinner.

The kids went to bed (Finn in my arms)

I got some time to think.

and now..

I am off to bed.

Just a day, but the kind I'm always striving toward - the kind where some small seams were sewn. (and some alliteration used ;)).