No Where to Go but UP

So I've been preaching a lot about failure since December.   Because I have noticed that I am resistant to make a big change (not simply because I'm stubborn, not simply because I'm tired or overwhelmed, but because I'm trying to show a stick-to-it-iveness that often is really a martyrdom) unless I've failed completely doing whatever I am currently doing.

I have realized that I am incredibly grateful for the negative answered prayers and the horrible failures recently.  Because without really truly failing, I don't really truly make a big change.  It's like I'm trying so hard to keep going along the path I'm on that when finally there is a big enough wall in my path that I *know* for sure that I am right to move to another path, it is such a relief.  Even if it's been a horrible failure.

We had a big time failure with the kids' teeth in December and it, no joke, caused us to question ourselves in pretty much every conceivable way.


I feel like we have been coasting thru parenthood as if we are young parents and this whole baby/kid thing hasn't quite set in that we are actually the adults here - in charge and responsible.  I mean, that sounds awful.  We have *never* allowed disrespect from the kids, we have always been quick to adjust hitting, screaming, kicking behaviors.  So it's not like we've been laying back with our feet up letting the kids run rampant.  BUT it's as if we sort of thought laying back with our feet up *should* have a place in our day to day routine and, quite frankly, it's not really a right right now.

I think the closest thing I can relate it to would be as if our kids were guests and while we love being with them - we figured they should be able to entertain themselves a good amount of the day.  Instead of sitting on the ground as a default, setting up the games to play, the routines (Beyond nap, lunch, etc) and such, it was like 'okay we'll play this game for five minutes, then I'll get back to what *I* planned to be doing right now'.

It might not even be that we're playing any more than we were before, but our mindset is different.  Instead of the chore, it is the rule and if we happen to have luxury time later - then that's the rub.  Because we have to make a lot more difficult decisions when we have less time set aside to try to do EVERYTHING.

Point being, without the crappy situation with the kids' teeth we may never have gotten low enough into a pit to make a positive change and I love the change we made.