New Addiction...

www.myheritage.com has does facial recognition (it's really photo recognition) so that you can see what celebrities you (or your photo) resembles.

I don't know if I can get mine to post here... I'll try.

It changes depending on if your hair is covering your face at all and if you're facing the camera perfectly. But I can definitely see the similarities. Some in the face, some just in the angle of my face for the photo!!

Taken off to preserve blog space...

The Year March Stood Still...

Has anyone else noticed that it has taken three or four years to get through March? A friend asked yesterday if I was still sending out snapfish albums. I am - just at the end of each month and ... well... March doesn't ever seem to have an end!

very very busy

I have realized recently that my anxiety is... ill proportioned to reality. I worry about things I do not need to worry about. And my anxiety blows everything out of proportion.

My pride would like to remind you all that there are times when I have been very very good about this. Times when I have tackled the uncomfortable and forced myself to coast through. I am proud of those times.

This week was not one of those times. It happens worst when something new is about to happen or when things are piled on top of each other. And that is what happened this week. Blah.

An example:

Last week I was anxious about calling for an appointment with my doctor. It had been two and a half years since my last appointment and it's only supposed to be a year. They would be disappointed in my performance, that's for sure. And what if there were changes in the protocol from before or what if they don't take my insurance anymore!

Then I was anxious about when to schedule it. During Abby's school hours or not? I decided during because that is what they had... what if it went long and I couldn't get back to the school in time? Poppa to the rescue there.

So then I was anxious about what it would be like... Would they scold me for not coming in regularly, should I tell a sob story about the house distractions or does that sound defensive? would I need to undress, would it be awkward?

On the day I am mostly worried about the insurance card and the possible scolding... and if Poppa got lost on the way to the pre-school - if they give him trouble - if Abby remembers to grab her backpack, if Poppa gets lost on the way to the mall. Is the doctor going to notice I missed a spot shaving my ankle? Am I blabbering like a nervous person? Do they hate it when people come in all anxious? Remember to actually listen to what they tell me to do and not just assume. Do I sound like one of those patients who thinks they know everything? Do I sound believable and basically normal?

And then I leave and almost get stuck in an elevator (I swear I was in there with a woman and we tried three times to make this elevator go and it wouldn't go) then I realize I forgot to ask all the questions I meant to ask.

All in all... I like myself better when I am not anxious. I have it in me to go with the flow and to take charge when need be. However I also find being anxious a little comforting... like I know I'm going through everything and getting everything set. I tend to forget large things when I'm in my 'chill' periods.

More than anything I just don't want to make Abby an anxious person - if it's not too late for that.

Moving Forward at Lake...

We officially... or... I think officially. Half officially? have a new pastor at Lake Ave. Hazel? Is it not totally official until he officially accepts?

I was particularly excited about this Sunday which meant we were going to hear him preach for the first time but also just for the general excitement of starting the next generation of Lake. But I was surprised by the emotion of the day.

After all, this man will become a staple to our family history. And we were there at the beginning of his history at Lake. It was really special. Especially - when he was introduced with his family the congregation gave him this huge standing ovation (obviously partly that was a gratitude to God thing too for bringing us someone) and I don't know if he was emotional about it or not, but it just felt like an important moment. I was proud of our congregation for showing such total support and welcome even before the vote.

I think that started things off well. I was proud to be part of the day. And I'm proud to have known two people on the committee that found the new pastor. Hazel, even if it meant you didn't have salsa and hot fudge with me enough, you did a good work. *Awkward kiss on your forehead.*

Shiney Happy...

The Happy Project

With all the men vs women group studies we've been doing, I decided to see how it would affect my household if I strived to be in a basically good mood when at all possible.

I've certainly wished over the years that Steve would come home happy because it cast such a pall over the entire night when he used to... not. I would feel that it was up to me every night to buoy up his mood.

And I realized that after a while I had become resentful that his mood was going to need bolstering so I started starting the evening in cruddy spirits. So that, even when he was in a happy mood, I brought him down.

There were multiple (and still are) times when neither of us intends to give off an unhappy or dissatisfied air but simply by not being specifically positive it can feel negative to the other person.

So... that's the project. I have to say it was a lot easier the first two days since I'd just come off of a weekend where I'd had a lot of 'me' time.

And it's already exponentially more difficult today since Abby was up periodically from 3-5am this morning - which ended up fine considering I couldn't get back to sleep. And when I finally did - she woke up for good at 6am. (there will be a nap today even if it takes three hours to make it happen)

So... it's not about being inauthentic. It's about making the effort to find my happy.

Of course, today it might just be about not eviscerating anyone who crosses my path.

Before she got sick

Steve's Daughter

Part One: Abby got a ton of sleep this morning (no, not last night, this morning) and since she basically didn't get up til 11am, I obviously didn't try to get her down for her nap. Anyway, she was a little more hyped up than normal when I put her to bed and for a good ten minute span was repeating in monotone, "My eye. My eye. My eye. My eye. My eye." She wanted me to come back and put Vaseline on her eye because someone *cough* mom *cough* has sworn to Abby that Vaseline can cure anything.

I had to put that in there because... it was just so... hilariously... I don't know.

Part Two: As I may have mentioned, Abby has started naming things (people, places, stuffed animals) finally. Except she's not naming them Bob, Jane, Mary. No, she's naming them "ptuchey la la hookcha." "Bear Bear" (pictured below) is now "Princess Tahukney Putnkey" and Nevada the state is a performance of hands raised, hissing and roaring then tossing herself to her knees. She will repeat this at will so please do not suggest she do this on concrete.

Part Three: Her imagination is vivid and quite maternal since so many babies have been sprouting up around us. In the below picture she is cradling a rock which she told Gramma was a blue baby elephant.

Hey Subconscious - Get with the Program

There's not much more annoying than having a night of interrupted sleep where you realize that half of the interruptions were actually dreams of interruptions.

Last night Abby was coughing quite a bit - probably woke up once or twice. But I dreamed she woke up four or five times and each time I had to stay up and there were multiple issues etc. etc.

It's just not fair.

Dressing

Fyi - for the general masses, Abby suddenly loves Ranch Dressing. She calls it "Dressing that is white with polka dots."

Obsession

You know the computer game Text Twist? It's basically just a six letter word scrambled and you have to guess all the words it could make 3-6 letters long? I'm having obsessive problems with it.

The web version (not the download) seems to have a selection of not THAT many words. This isn't really a problem for me except that it is majorly frustrating not to get a word I've previously not gotten up already three or four times.

So I'm not playing and writing down all the six letter words so that it will be easier to get them next time they roll around.

straws
skythe
barrel
addled
bluing
adjust
unjust
combed
series
sweets
cotton
dainty
kidder
bronze
fusion
discus
fellow
gawked
rotund
hopped
devout
hedges
module
endure
scrimp
crimps
slopes
mellow
fleecy
thanks
easily
mingle
snappy
rulers
glints
infect
violet
whimsy
blimps
sewing
unzips
oxbows
uncles
stores
possum

First Parent/Teacher Conference

Thought I'd want to document this. First off, it's very sweet, they always have the child there when they have one of these meetings so the child knows what is said and that they aren't talked about without their knowledge (poor Abby, she doesn't know about the blog yet). So we all sit around a table and discuss.

Miss Janet said Abby was happy and on target with all the developmental stuff. She said that Abby plays with all groups of kids - young, old, boys, girls it doesn't matter. Abby surveys the area to see if there is anything she wants to join in on and if there is she goes over there and plays. She doesn't ask permission which is great says Miss Janet because if asked most kids will say 'No.' The kids mostly go with the flow when she joins and accept her because she doesn't bother to ask. Miss Janet said it is either because Abby is so comfortable/safe feeling or she feels entitled. Either way, it's working out for her.

Miss Janet says Abby is still very unsure about gymnastics and she hasn't been able to get out of Abby why. Sometimes she'll warm up and join in but mostly she sits on the sidelines with Miss Janet. Miss Janet suggested we put her into a gymnastics class with a friend and see if that helps or uncovers the problem.

There were no issues or concerns. Abby is great and is clear to move on to Miss Kelly's class next year. When asked for any input Abby said in a businessness-like voice, "Well, this is my mom and this is my dad and we live at home."

True, baby. True.

Hint of Summer

Two days after our heat was installed, it was too hot to use it. But look not for irony here because we also installed A/C.














Abby's enjoyment running in the sprinklers was cut short today when she realized it wasn't just fun and games. She was getting messy. And, of course, no fun is worth that.

Abby-Eye-View Part Two

The Loot

Abby has this thing about having a special thing next to her while she goes to sleep. It started out with a book and it had to be next to her because I wouldn't let her play with it. Then, when we started rewarding her potty training it would be an unopened lollipop that she would get the next day. But it seems to be spiraling out of control...

Artsy Artsy

Bridging the Divide

Sharpest tool in the Shed

Getting ready to go out the door yesterday morning I had a handful of extra play clothes for Abby to take to school and my wallet and my keys. I ran downstairs to feed the cats, ran back upstairs and went out to the car with Abby from there. I sat in the car and Abby said, "Momma, you forgot your purse!"

She's brilliant.

Abby-Eye-View

I let Abby use my small digital camera today...

Done the Trick

You'll remember my heart was breaking every time Abby would refuse to go to school with this horribly sad look on her face or get picked up from school explaining that no one would play with her. Well, adding a day more of pre-school seems to have done the trick.

She still tries to get out of school now and then, but not nearly with the same sentiment behind it. I drop her off at school and she runs to Miss Janet to get a hug and to the other teachers. She never seems upset after school... just happy and excited and desperately wanting to continue in the fun and NOT under any circumstances, go home.

ONE tiny heartbreak moment I'll share though. I took her to the big park across the street from the school yesterday. It's pretty common for some of the kids to go there after, so I wasn't surprised when siblings showed up. Abby was overjoyed. She played and played with them. But then they had to leave and Abby was just... so disappointed. She moped over to one of the horsey things and sat on it and put her head down on the horse head and said, "But, I just want a best friend to play and have fun with."

I blame Shannon for not living across the street from us.